tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58915160193716451162024-03-12T19:33:42.947-07:00Story SleuthsAuthors Allyson Valentine Schrier, Meg Lippert, and Heather Hedin Singh read like writers, searching through award-winning children's books for clues about how to improve their own writing.Allyson Valentine Schrierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060010674699666764noreply@blogger.comBlogger110125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-81375078727737958222011-03-22T14:16:00.000-07:002011-03-22T14:16:29.762-07:00A WORD FROM THIS MONTH'S AUTHOR: Cynthia Lord<!--StartFragment--> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-BMIeIOao1vQ/TYkP1AkECJI/AAAAAAAAATU/EPgaTKPHlt0/s1600/cynthia+lord.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-BMIeIOao1vQ/TYkP1AkECJI/AAAAAAAAATU/EPgaTKPHlt0/s1600/cynthia+lord.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><b>Touch Blue</b></span></i><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: JA;"> went through many revisions. It took me quite awhile to find the story I truly wanted to tell in this book. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: JA;">One big change the book went through was that when I first wrote <i><b>Touch Blue</b></i>, Tess didn't want Aaron to come. She resented that Dad was excited a boy was coming and that her family had to change.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: JA;">That might be an understandable reaction for Tess, but I kept getting feedback from my critique partners saying they felt so badly for Aaron that they didn't like Tess. I tried giving her bigger reasons why she would feel that way, and I backed up the story so the reader got to know Tess first. But the bottom line was that I had given Aaron a more sympathetic story, which is very hard to overcome. A reader needs to identify with the main character, more than the other characters. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: JA;">One day I asked myself, "What if Tess wanted Aaron?" It made all the difference. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: JA;">I don't save many of my drafts, but here was an earlier opening.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;">Touch blue and your wish will come true.</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: 48.0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: 48.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;">“The sea likes to keep her secrets,” Dad always says, “but every day she lets a few go.” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: 48.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;">At low tide, I find them. They’re never anything ordinary, like a snarl of rope, a broken lobster trap, or a long, frilly ribbon of kelp. Those things wash up in front of our house almost every day—as common as if they belonged between the huge, black-soaked rocks.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: 48.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;">No, the sea’s true secrets are always surprises. Yesterday I found an iron teakettle, dotted with barnacles. On Wednesday I uncovered a little wooden jewelry box, empty except for two snails.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: 48.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;">Today it’s a round bit of sea glass, just the bottom of a bottle.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: 48.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;">"Thank you," I always say, because sometimes you don’t know for sure if something’s important or trash when it first comes.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: JA;">Looking at this now, I see that it's evocative and a bit symbolic, but it doesn't show the reader what matters most or begin the plot. Here's how the book now begins:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;">Touch blue and your wish will come true.</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: 48.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;">“The ferry’s coming!” High on the cliffs, my five-year-old sister, Libby, jumps foot-to-foot. “Come on, Tess! Mom says we can run down to meet it!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: 48.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;">Across the bay the ferry looks small as a toy, leaving the mainland wharf. I’ve seen that boat heading for our island hundreds of times, but never with my heart pounding so hard.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: 48.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;">He’s almost here!</span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 26.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: 48.0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: 48.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: JA;">When Rules won its Newbery Honor, I made my editor promise that she wouldn't go easier on me because of that award. As you can see from this photo of one of my revision pages, she kept that promise! <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-NsEskeI8XZM/TYkP1iCAK3I/AAAAAAAAATY/PMiA15nCyUU/s1600/Lord+TouchBlue_draft_450.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-NsEskeI8XZM/TYkP1iCAK3I/AAAAAAAAATY/PMiA15nCyUU/s400/Lord+TouchBlue_draft_450.jpg" width="307" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: 48.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: JA;"> And I love her for it. </span><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><b><i>StorySleuths Tip # 102: Be willing to experiment with character motivation to ensure that reader's can identify with the main character.</i></b></span></div><!--EndFragment--> <!--EndFragment--><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Heather Hedin Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16042719762118668832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-59093339391361737512011-03-11T08:39:00.000-08:002011-03-11T08:40:47.718-08:00NON FICTION ELEMENTS: Touch Blue (Post #4)Hi Heather,<br />
<br />
As you know I read and write both fiction and nonfiction. I love a great story, but I also enjoy feeding my brain with facts about a previously unfamiliar topic. One of the best experiences of all is when the worlds of fiction and nonfiction come together, and upon reading a terrific novel I find both my fiction and my nonfiction brain sated by the experience. This is how I felt when reading Cynthia Lord’s wonderful book, <strong><em>Touch Blue</em></strong>.<br />
<br />
An interesting article in the <a href="http://www.institutechildrenslit.com/rx/wt06/creativenonfiction.shtml">Institute of Children’s Literature</a> discussed creative non fiction versus informational fiction. The article stated:<br />
<blockquote>You might learn a ton of stuff from such a well researched piece of fiction – but the primary “job” of the piece will be to tell a great story. The facts will just add extra spice to a really good exciting story.</blockquote>That “extra spice” is what I’m talking about—snippets of factual information that make me feel I got more out of a story than just high entertainment value. And I am not alone. As much as kids love story, they love facts, too. In her <a href="http://inkrethink.blogspot.com/2010/07/bit-of-controversy.html">I.N.K Blog</a> (Interesting Nonfiction for Kids) nonfiction writer Linda Salzman says: <br />
<blockquote>Kids love to learn about things that really happened. They are constantly asking “Is that real? Is that true? Did that really happen?” When you are reading nonfiction to them and you can answer with an unequivocal “yes” they are truly delighted</blockquote>But I would go on to say that when you are reading FICTION and you can point to things that “really happen,” the outcome is the same—kids are delighted. And the delight is amplified when the facts are presented in an unobtrusive way that flows with the story. Consider these nonfiction nuggets in Lord’s book:<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>From page 59: </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Do you think God ever makes mistakes?” I ask</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Mistakes?”</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Like not giving cormorants enough oil to make their wings waterproof, so they have to stand there and dry them?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>From page 67:</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Lay it [the gauge] along the carapace—that’s the name for the lobster’s back.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>From page 70:</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dad reaches into the empty trap for the mesh bag of leftover bait. “Next we throw out the old bait, put in some new, and reset the trap. The bait bag hangs here in the first part of the trap—called the kitchen. The lobster comes into the kitchen to eat, and then he’ll crawl up this ramp and through this opening between the two rooms. The back part of the trap is called the parlor, and that’s where he gets stuck.”</span><br />
<br />
Wow! In just a few pages I have finally come to understand why I always see cormorants hanging out by the Arboretum off the 520 bridge with their wings spread wide. I learned that the lobster’s back is called a carapace, and I understand how a lobster trap works. <br />
<br />
What Lord has done so well is to insert these tidbits in a way that is completely inconspicuous—she has made them part of the story. Kids who are fact-hounds will eat this stuff up. Kids who are just in it for the story will come away with a knowledge they didn’t have to work for. There is a saying that “Everyday’s a school day.” As authors if we can expand a kids knowledge of the world by tucking interesting facts into a piece of fiction, we should go for it! <br />
<br />
<strong>StorySleuth’s Tip #101: Go for the “extra spice”. Add nonfiction elements to your story, but be sure to do so in a way that doesn’t make the reader feel they’re being buried beneath a pile of facts. </strong><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Allyson Valentine Schrierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060010674699666764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-67626088183519832212011-02-25T11:38:00.000-08:002011-02-25T11:38:46.710-08:00DEVELOPING THEME: Touch Blue (Post #3)<!--StartFragment--> <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mUkQw25EmdI/TUwyvtAXOzI/AAAAAAAAATI/tlf-yYI51Mk/s1600/touch+blue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mUkQw25EmdI/TUwyvtAXOzI/AAAAAAAAATI/tlf-yYI51Mk/s200/touch+blue.jpg" width="133" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal">Dear Allyson,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">I’m so glad you brought up the connection between subplot and theme. I had the opportunity to hear Cynthia Lord speak about theme a few years ago at the Western Washington SCBWI Conference, and I have often referenced my notes from her session when I need to work on theme.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">In her presentation, Lord differentiated between subject and theme by saying that theme is what you have to say about a subject. She often phrases theme as a statement or question. For example, one of the subjects of her Newbery-honor book <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Rules</i></b> is disability, and the theme she explores is “What is normal?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">She also explained that while themes may arise in a first draft, she doesn’t focus on them until subsequent drafts. Then, she looks for ways to enhance theme, which ultimately enriches the reading experience.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">What process does she use to develop theme?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><u>Subjects<o:p></o:p></u></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">First, she defines the subjects of her novel. Each story can have a variety of subjects. Some of the subjects of <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Touch Blue </i></b>are friendship, belonging, luck, community, and family. These are the “big picture concerns” of the story, and in her SCBWI presentation, Lord urged writers to take the time to dig deep past the obvious possible subjects to unearth possibly more interesting subjects as well.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><u>Aspects of Subject<o:p></o:p></u></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">Next, Lord spends time exploring different aspects and complexities of a given subject. As you noted, Allyson, belonging is a theme of <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Touch Blue</i></b>. Here are some of the different aspects of belonging that I found in the book: <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Everyone knows you<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>People say hi to you<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>You know who to go to for help or assistance<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>You know the history of the place or group<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">In fact, Aaron initially finds these first two aspects disturbing. On page 17, he says, “How come all these people already know about me?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><u>Thematic Question</u><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">Once you have explored various aspects of a subject, Lord says, you can develop a thematic statement or question. Ideally this question should not be easily answered but rather something that you can spend an entire novel exploring. I don’t know what Lord had in mind for the subject of belonging, but one question she might have pondered is “What happens when a new person joins a tight-knit community?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><u>The Shadow Side</u><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">While exploring a theme, Lord also looks at that shadow side of a subject. This could be the opposite of the subject or its absence. In the case of belonging, shadow aspects might include:<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>People don’t accept you (Eben is mean to Aaron)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>People judge you (Mrs. Coombs’ comments on Aaron’s appearance)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>They know all about your business<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>They gossip about you<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>You can never get away.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">One prime example of the shadow side is when the postmaster ask Aaron where he’s from, and Aaron hesitates before answering, “You mean <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">right</i> before here?” (p. 37).<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><u>Connecting Theme to Character<o:p></o:p></u></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">In her SCBWI presentation, Lord described how writers embed theme not only in plot but in character as well. <a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2011/02/subplots-touch-blue-post-2.html">As you noted, Allyson, in your discussion of subplots</a>, Tess is the insider and Aaron is the outsider. Their interactions and experiences play off each other, providing readers with multiple views of the issue of belonging.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><u>Using Setting and Objects<o:p></o:p></u></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">The other way writers can deepen theme, according to Lord, is by using setting and objects. The island community of Bethsaida provides a perfect microcosm for exploring theme. There are tourists and year-round families, long-simmering rivalries and an influx of newcomers. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">Music provides another example of belonging. Aaron experiences acceptance through his music. When he plays at the Fourth of July picnic, he connects with the islanders. Unfortunately, the cruel note (“Go home! Oops, you can’t. Right, orphan?”) that he finds inside his music book also reminds him that he doesn’t belong.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">Theme truly deepens a reader’s experience with a book, but it often seems a bit daunting when starting on a project. I really appreciated learning Lord’s process for developing theme through the revision process. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Touch Blue</i></b> provides a great resource for exploring aspects of subject and theme.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">StorySleuths Tip #100: In revision, develop theme by exploring a question about one of your books subjects. Don’t forget to consider the shadow side of your theme. Plot, character, setting, and objects all provide opportunities to deepen theme.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div><!--EndFragment--><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Heather Hedin Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16042719762118668832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-39347657789566246392011-02-15T07:08:00.000-08:002011-02-15T07:10:59.683-08:00SUBPLOTS: Touch Blue (post #2)<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Hi Heather!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I loved your post on BIG scenes. While I’ve found them challenging to write, I’ve never considered them as something requiring their own special attention. Thanks for the enlightenment! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And speaking of enlightenment, I attended a terrific lecture last week at the <a href="http://www.scbwi-washington.org/">Seattle SCBWI monthly lecture series</a> that changed the way I think about subplots. The lecture, titled <strong>WHILE THE CENTRAL PLOT SIMMERS: SUBPLOTS AND SECONDARY/SUPPORTING CHARACTERS</strong>, was delivered by Wayne Ude, author, and MFA program director for the <a href="http://www.writeonwhidbey.org/">Whidbey Island Writers Association</a>. Using <em><strong>Pride and Prejudice</strong></em> as his example, Wayne pointed out the ways that subplots complement the main plot, serving as a mirror to the primary action and theme. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Curious to find out more I looked at what Elizabeth George had to say about subplots in her book <strong><em>Write Away: One Novelist’s Approach to Fiction and the Writing Life</em></strong>. Interestingly enough, George also mentions <em><strong>Pride and Prejudice</strong></em>, pointing out that while Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy’s relationship is the main plot of the novel, the other three significant relationships (Jane and Bingley, Charlotte and Mr. Collins, Lydia and Wickham) are, “winkles on the same blanket.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">George summarizes the use of subplots with these words:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<blockquote><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Subplots generally rise out of a novel’s theme. As you create your character analyses, you’ll begin to make connections between characters. You’ll discover the similarities in what they’re going through or have gone through. You’ll see a common element that you wish to write about, and this will be your theme. Your subplots will mirror that theme.</span></blockquote><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Now to tie this subplot discussion into this month’s featured book, <strong><em>Touch Blue</em></strong>.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">In an online interview with <a href="http://www.teenreads.com/authors/au-lord-cynthia.asp">teenreads</a> Cynthia Lord was asked the questions:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="color: orange;">What message do you hope readers will take away after they turn the last page of <strong><em>Touch Blue?</em></strong></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And Lord replied:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: orange; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Kids today live in all different kinds of families. As Tess says to Aaron, "You can belong in more than one place." I want readers to end <strong>Touch Blue </strong>with a sense of hope that no matter where you lay your head at night, you always belong to all the people you love and all the people who love you.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Belonging and not belonging is a recurrent theme in Lord’s novel. The main plot is Tess’s story. She very much belongs in her tight knit island community, but may lose that connection if her family is forced to move. Aaron’s successful integration into the community is key to Tess achieving her desire—staying put. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Aaron’s quest to leave the island is a subplot that mirrors the main plot. He wants to leave Bethsaida and return to his mother. His reason for wishing to leave, the theme of his subplot, is the same as Tess’s reason for wishing to stay on the island—they are each trying desperately to be in the place where they feel they belong.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Elizabeth George says about subplots, “If they don’t mirror the theme, they will not fit easily into the world of the novel and they will go clunk each time you’re writing them till you finally decide to cut them out altogether.” (63)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong>The take away for writers is this:</strong> If you find that your subplots feel false, consider whether or not they mirror the book’s main theme. And if you find that you have a terrific plot but no subplots, make them up! But start by asking yourself what situations you could put your secondary characters into that mirror the main characters greatest desire.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong>StorySleuths Tip #99:</strong> When writing subplots avoid clunkers by allowing the theme of the subplot to mirror that of the story’s main plot</span>.<div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Allyson Valentine Schrierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060010674699666764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-63301101147494776522011-02-04T09:10:00.000-08:002011-02-04T09:10:08.737-08:00BIG SCENES: Touch Blue (Post #1)<!--StartFragment--> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><!--StartFragment--> </div><div class="MsoNormal"><!--StartFragment--> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_63id3vYSpH4/TUwyvtAXOzI/AAAAAAAAATI/zmOzhlsqxfU/s1600/touch+blue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_63id3vYSpH4/TUwyvtAXOzI/AAAAAAAAATI/zmOzhlsqxfU/s200/touch+blue.jpg" width="133" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal">Dear Allyson,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">I’m so happy to be back to <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">StorySleuths </i></b>after our hiatus this fall. I hope your writing has been going well. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">This month, we’re reading <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Touch Blue </i></b>by Cynthia Lord, which starts when Tess Brooks and her family bring a foster child named Aaron into their home on the island of Bethsaida, Maine. This is a story about belonging, family, community, and luck. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">Speaking of luck, the timing for me to dig into this month’s book couldn’t be more perfect. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Touch Blue </i></b>features several “big scenes” similar to the scene I’m currently writing in my novel.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">What is a big scene? Sandra Scofield, author of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Scene Book</i>, describes big scenes as “scenes that have many characters.” These would include parties, weddings, holidays, and other gatherings. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">These scenes are difficult to write, even for masters. Here, Scofield shares a snippet from a letter by Gustave Flaubert describing his challenge in creating a scene in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Madame Bovary</i>: <o:p></o:p></div><blockquote>“Never in my life have I written anything more difficult than what I am doing now—trivial dialogue. I have to portray, simultaneously and in the same conversation, five or six characters who speak, several others who are spoken about, the scene, and the whole town… and in the midst of all that, I have to show a man and a woman who are beginning… to fall in love with each other…” (Scofield, p. 156). </blockquote><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">A lot to accomplish! <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">Scofield says that big scenes take as much planning as “the preparation of a huge Christmas dinner, a school play, or any other event that has many components.” Who is there? Where are they? Why have they gathered? What are they doing? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">Chapter Two of <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Touch Blue</i></b>, Aaron’s arrival on the island, is an ambitious big scene. Let’s step through the scene beat by beat to see how Lord introduces the reader to the characters, the situation, and the island. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Libby and Tess arrive at the crowded wharf.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">a.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>In a broad stroke, Lord shows us that the entire town is waiting.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">b.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Reaction: Tess is annoyed that Eben Calder is there. We get a quick introduction to the antagonist.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>While Tess looks through the crowd, she hears snippets of conversation. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">a.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>We get details about the boat (setting).<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">b.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>The unattributed conversation snippets give the impression of the crowd, plus they provide details about what is happening.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">c.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Reaction: Tess reflects on the Hamiltons’ move and its implications.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">d.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Her reflection leads her into a flashback that reveals background information about the plan to bring foster children to the island.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Jenna Ross says hi to Tess and they talk.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">a.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>We meet a potential new friend for Tess.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">b.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>The conversation reveals more details about the foster children.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">c.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Reaction: Tess doesn’t really like Jenna. (Introduction of a story layer)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>The passengers disembark. Tess waits. She sees Aaron at last.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">a.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Great sensory and setting details emerge from the descriptions of the ferry and passengers (p. 12-13).<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">b.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>We get a first glimpse of Aaron through Tess.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">c.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Reaction: Tess is disappointed that Aaron has red hair (unlucky) and looks weak.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">d.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Mrs. Coombs’ also comments about Aaron’s appearance.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Dad introduces Aaron to Tess and Libby.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">a.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Libby throws herself at Aaron, a direct contrast to Tess’s more restrained approach.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">b.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Aaron’s response reveals his own hesitations.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">c.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Reaction: Tess is worried that this won’t work out.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">d.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>More setting details come as the family leaves the wharf, passing a lot full of beater cars.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">e.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>The scene ends with another wish from Tess—connection to the theme of luck.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">The tension in the scene comes from Tess as she moves from a state of excited anticipation to disappointment and worry at Aaron’s appearance. The reader finishes the chapter wondering whether the living arrangements will work out for Aaron and the Brooks.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">Chapter Two of <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Touch Blue</i></b> is a great example of how much a big scene can accomplish. This chapter is nine pages long, and it provides introductions to all the major characters, establishes the setting, connects to several thematic lines (belonging, community, luck), introduces a story layer (Tess becoming friends with Jenna), establishes stakes, and builds tension.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">While the scene is complicated, Lord keeps it highly focused, never letting us lose sight of Tess’s actions and reactions. Nothing in the scene is superfluous. Everything works together.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">StorySleuths Tip #98: Sandra Scofield suggests breaking down a big scene into the same elements of a story: beginning-middle-end, with growing tension, a setting, and a shift at the end. Use beats to break the scene down into parts. Make sure that every element contributes something.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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<!--EndFragment--><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Heather Hedin Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16042719762118668832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-17829478048543116022011-01-18T13:07:00.000-08:002011-01-18T13:07:39.531-08:00Congratulations, Newbery Honorees!Congratulations to all the winners of the 2011 Newbery Awards! We at <b><i>StorySleuths</i></b> were so pleased that two of our 2010 focus books received Newbery Honors: Jennifer Holm's <b><i>Turtle in Paradise</i></b> and Rita Williams Garcia's <b><i>One Crazy Summer</i></b>.<br />
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Both books feature fabulous characters, historical settings, and exciting plots. To celebrate the Newbery Honor awards, we have consolidated all of our postings, including author interviews, on both books here. We invite you to read our files for evidence of what makes <b><i>Turtle in Paradise</i></b> and <b><i>One Crazy Summer</i></b> such distinguished books.<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_63id3vYSpH4/TIrPhlCa8UI/AAAAAAAAASw/NHxEYTL2j10/s1600/turtle+in+paradise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_63id3vYSpH4/TIrPhlCa8UI/AAAAAAAAASw/NHxEYTL2j10/s200/turtle+in+paradise.jpg" width="133" /></a><br />
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<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Turtle in Paradise</span></i></b><br />
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<ol><li><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/09/creating-memorable-character-names.html">Creating Memorable Character Names</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/09/narrative-voice-turtle-in-paradise-post.html">Narrative Voice</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/09/narrative-hook-turtle-in-paradise-post3.html">The Narrative Hook</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/09/chapter-beginnings-turtle-in-paradise.html">Chapter Beginnings</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/09/word-from-this-months-author-jennifer_6683.html">A Word from Jennifer Holm</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/09/rooting-for-prickly-character-turtle-in.html">Rooting for a Prickly Character</a></li>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_63id3vYSpH4/TBT51Ebe9GI/AAAAAAAAASI/OhZHFRwppbQ/s1600/one+crazy+summer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_63id3vYSpH4/TBT51Ebe9GI/AAAAAAAAASI/OhZHFRwppbQ/s200/one+crazy+summer.jpg" width="132" /></a><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">One Crazy Summer</span></i></b><br />
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<ol><li><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/06/finding-story-one-crazy-summer-1-of-6.html">Writing from Your Own Experience</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/06/dialogue-one-crazy-summer-post-2-of-6.html">Dialogue</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/06/bringing-history-to-story-one-crazy.html">Bringing History to Story</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/06/ticking-clock-one-crazy-summer-post-4.html">The Ticking Clock</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/06/antagonist-one-crazy-summer-post-5-of-6.html">Antagonist</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/07/interview-with-author-one-crazy-summer.html">Interview with Rita Williams-Garcia</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/07/guest-post-by-monica-edinger-one-crazy.html">Guest Post: Attending to Your Audience (Monica Edinger)</a></li>
</ol><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Heather Hedin Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16042719762118668832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-44441130494990191342010-11-27T09:43:00.000-08:002010-11-27T09:45:28.440-08:00We'll Be Posting Again Soon!<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The StorySleuths are heads down in writing projects at the moment, but we're excited to resume blogging following the winter holidays when we'll be looking at Newbery Honor winner Cynthia Lord's newest novel, <strong>Touch Blue</strong>. </span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">We wish you a peaceful, hopeful holiday season. </span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Happy reading (and writing!),</span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Trebuchet MS;">The StorySleuths </span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Trebuchet MS;">(Allyson, Meg and Heather)</span><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Allyson Valentine Schrierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060010674699666764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-28564630553893131002010-09-26T15:16:00.000-07:002010-09-26T15:16:52.377-07:00ROOTING FOR A PRICKLY CHARACTER: Turtle in Paradise (Post #6)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_63id3vYSpH4/TIrPhlCa8UI/AAAAAAAAASw/NHxEYTL2j10/s1600/turtle+in+paradise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_63id3vYSpH4/TIrPhlCa8UI/AAAAAAAAASw/NHxEYTL2j10/s200/turtle+in+paradise.jpg" width="133" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">Dear Sleuths,</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-indent: .5in;">When Allyson and I met to discuss <b><i>Turtle in Paradise</i></b><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">, we were surprised to note the number of similarities between it and our July book, Karen Cushman’s </span><b><i>Alchemy and Meggie Swann</i></b><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">. Sure, a few hundred years and the Atlantic separate them in terms of setting. But look at how both books start: in each, the protagonist—a girl on her own—is sent away by her mother to live in a strange and unfamiliar location with relatives who don’t really want them. Furthermore, each girl is a smart, sharp-tongued character who must find a way to survive in difficult circumstances. <o:p></o:p></span></div><h1><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Prickly Characters</span><o:p></o:p></h1><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-indent: .5in;">In fact, Turtle and Meggie Swann share a common outlook: they are brutally honest, funny, independent thinkers who come off as outspoken, impertinent, cranky or sensitive, depending on the moment. While I wouldn’t necessarily like to have either one as a houseguest (at least not the way they act at the beginning of the books), I do end up rooting for both. And from a writing point of view, let’s face it: given where the two characters start, the changes they go through as they find friends and establish themselves create a highly satisfying character arc. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-indent: .5in;">Every writer wants to show character growth, so it’s not unusual to start a book with a character who has a little attitude. That attitude can go too far, of course. Once, when I shared a manuscript at an editorial conference, an agent cautioned me against making my character too sarcastic and snarky. So I started wondering how Jennifer Holm gets us to root for Turtle despite her “hard shell” (p. 99). <o:p></o:p></div><h1><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Bonding Time</span><o:p></o:p></h1><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-indent: .5in;">In the book <i>Plot and Structure</i><span style="font-style: normal;">, writer James Scott Bell says, “After conceiving a compelling Lead character, you must go a step further and figure out how to create an emotional bond with the reader” (p. 65). One tool authors can use is sympathy.<o:p></o:p></span></div><blockquote>In contrast to mere empathy, sympathy intensifies the reader’s emotional investment in the lead… There are four simple ways to establish sympathy. Choose wisely. Don’t overload them, as it may make the reader feel manipulated. (p. 66)</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-indent: .5in;">Bell’s four ways of establishing sympathy are: jeopardy, hardship, the underdog, and vulnerability. Let’s take a look at each.<o:p></o:p></div><h1><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Jeopardy</span><o:p></o:p></h1><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-indent: .5in;">Bell writes, “Put the hero in terrible, imminent trouble.” Turtle is traveling to Key West without her mother, and when she arrives, her aunt Minnie is shocked to see her. When Minnie learns that Turtle is supposed to stay with her indefinitely, she exclaims, “As if I don’t have enough already with three kids and a husband who’s never home” (p. 19). Any reader will sympathize with Turtle’s position as an unwanted burden.<o:p></o:p></div><h1><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hardship</span><o:p></o:p></h1><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-indent: .5in;">“If the Lead has to face some misfortune not of her own making, sympathy abounds,” Bell says. Turtle faces plenty of hardship, from her mother’s current and former employers, to the realities of the Depression. Life hasn’t been easy for Turtle, which goes a long way to explain her jaded outlook.<o:p></o:p></div><h1><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">The Underdog</span><o:p></o:p></h1><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-indent: .5in;">Says Bell: “America loves people who face long odds.” Turtle is the underdog in her new home. She’s the only girl among a gang of boys, a newcomer in a well-established community, and she is completely unaware of her extended family’s dynamics. Aunt Minnie’s son Beans is unfriendly at the start, describing Turtle as “some freeloading cousin from New Jersey” (p. 27). The boys won’t even let her join the Diaper Gang because she’s a girl. When Turtle succeeds in tricking the ice cream man into giving her a free scoop—something Beans fails at doing—the reader can’t help but cheer for Turtle. <o:p></o:p></div><h1><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Vulnerability</span><o:p></o:p></h1><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-indent: .5in;">According to Bell, “Readers worry about a Lead who might be crushed at any time.” Turtle is vulnerable because fundamentally, she is a kid on her own. She and her mother have moved around a lot, dependent on working for fickle wealthy employers. Not only that, but Turtle’s mother, Sadiebelle, is less practical than her daughter. “Mama’s good at looking at the sunny side of life,” Turtle says early in the book. “Mama’s watched so many pictures that she believes in happy endings” (p. 10). Later, Turtle thinks “I don’t know what she’d do without me to figure things out” (p. 94). Turtle believes she must take care of her mother—and to make matters worse, Turtle doesn’t have a father to help out. No wonder she longs for the stability of a home (the Bellewood) and the security of a father in Archie. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-indent: .5in;">Holm succeeds in establishing Turtle as a sympathetic character, despite her churlishness. Ultimately, the overarching question the reader has throughout <b><i>Turtle in Paradise </i></b><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">is “Will Turtle be ok?” The details that Holm reveals about Turtle’s family and background help the reader to see that Turtle is like her namesake. As Uncle Vernon says, “You know, the thing about a turtle is that it looks tough, but it’s got a soft underbelly” (p. 100). <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-indent: .5in;">And as for Turtle’s snappiness? Her impertinent remarks? Her witty comebacks? The things she thinks and says—the things <i>I’d</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> never say for fear of being impolite—those are the very things that show Turtle’s spunk and independence. While I sympathize with her situation, I like her humor, her attitude, and the fact that she says what she thinks. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoBodyText"><b>StorySleuths Tip #97: Help readers sympathize with a prickly character by revealing her “soft underbelly” but also make sure to show the character’s spirit and spunk. </b><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;"><br />
</div><!--EndFragment--><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Heather Hedin Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16042719762118668832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-10908712100848633252010-09-22T13:03:00.000-07:002011-03-22T14:03:01.628-07:00A WORD FROM THIS MONTH'S AUTHOR: Jennifer Holm<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_duGrvc5hn6w/TJpguMZ4ISI/AAAAAAAAAKM/2aMYQJvzw94/s1600/jennifer+holm.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" px="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_duGrvc5hn6w/TJpguMZ4ISI/AAAAAAAAAKM/2aMYQJvzw94/s320/jennifer+holm.bmp" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dear Fellow Sleuths,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We all know that even the most accomplished authors don’t always get it right the first time. We asked Jennifer Holm if she would be willing to share with us a sample of something she revised--sort of a before and after shot from her wonderful novel <strong><em>Turtle in Paradise</em></strong>. We were expecting some random paragraph from deep within the novel, and look what we got! Jennifer shared with us an early stab at the book’s opening paragraph. How cool is that?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ladies and gentlemen, here for your viewing pleasure, the birth of an opening paragraph! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jennifer Holm:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, <em><strong>Turtle In Paradise</strong></em> is a book I worked on, literally, for years. I started it back in 2005. I can’t even find some of my really early drafts because the original laptop I wrote them on was fried when my husband spilled a cup of coffee on the keyboard. (Yes, we are still married.) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I should point out that I am a somewhat strange writer in that I love revising. (Probably to a fault if you ask my editor.) And Turtle went through a lot of revisions. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is the opening scene from an early draft I found that was written in July 2006. At the time, the working title of the book was Turtle and the Conchs.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">DRAFT July 2006</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’ve got my eyes closed. I’m pretending to be asleep. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not that it stops Uncle Lyle from talking. Smokey’s been meowing the whole time, and even she can’t get a word in edgewise.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Uncle Lyle likes to talk. And talk. And he’s got an opinion on everything. He talks about how folks in the Dust Bowl wouldn’t be having so much trouble if they’d just move near some water. He talks about how he doesn’t trust President Roosevelt to get us out of this depression and that if you give someone money for not working why would they ever bother to get a job? But mostly he talks about how he can’t wait to get to Key West so he can hurry up and get back home to New Jersey. </span></blockquote></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Looking back, the problem with this version was that it was more about Uncle Lyle than Turtle. I loved the character of Lyle (let’s just say I’ve known a few Lyle-types in my life) and he really took over the early first drafts of chapter one. This ended up being more of a hindrance because Lyle was pretty tangential to the action in the book. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Final version:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everyone thinks children are sweet as Necco Wafers, but I’ve lived long enough to know the truth: kids are rotten. The only difference between grown-ups and kids is that grown-ups go to jail for murder. Kids get away with it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I stare out the window as Mr. Edgit’s Ford Model A rumbles along the road, kicking up clouds of dust. It’s so hot that the backs of my legs feel like melted gum, only stickier. We’re been driving for days now; it feels like eternity.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In front of us is a rusty pickup truck with a gang of dirty-looking kids in the back sandwiched between furniture—an iron bed, a rocking chair, battered pots—all tied up with little bits of fraying rope like a spiderweb. A girl my age is holding a baby that’s got a pair of ladies’ bloomers tied on its head to keep the sun out of its eyes. The boy sitting next to her has a gap between his two front teeth. Not that this stops him from blowing spitballs at us through a straw. We’ve been stuck behind this truck for the last few miles, and our windshield is covered with wadded bits of wet newspaper.</span></blockquote></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>StorySleuths Tip #96: Don’t let your main character get sidelined! And when it comes to revision, remember that it sometimes takes huge changes to get the story where it needs to go. Instead of rewriting the same paragraph over and over—try something new.</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/09/rooting-for-prickly-character-turtle-in.html">Post #6: Rooting for a Prickly Character</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Posted by Allyson Valentine Schrier</span><br />
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</span><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Allyson Valentine Schrierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060010674699666764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-54840240610826268202010-09-18T09:00:00.000-07:002011-01-18T13:12:43.784-08:00CHAPTER BEGINNINGS: Turtle in Paradise (Post #4)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_63id3vYSpH4/TJQU2OtbszI/AAAAAAAAAS4/vr9eZCMvanw/s1600/turtle+in+paradise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_63id3vYSpH4/TJQU2OtbszI/AAAAAAAAAS4/vr9eZCMvanw/s200/turtle+in+paradise.jpg" width="133" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal">Dear Sleuths,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">My intention for today’s post was to write about the way Jennifer Holm incorporates historical details such as references to Shirley Temple and <i>Little Orphan Annie</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> into </span><b><i>Turtle in Paradise</i></b><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">. Author of six historical novels, including two Newbery Honors, Holm has mastered the fine art of balancing enough detail to set a scene while not overwhelming readers with too much research. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">However, <a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/search/label/Historical%20Fiction">we have written a lot about historical fiction</a> over the last few months, and as I flipped back through <b><i>Turtle in Paradise</i></b><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">, something else caught my eye: the way Holm begins each chapter with a short transitional paragraph before launching into action. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">Chapters are an interesting element of structure and form in that they exist in all novels, but they warrant minimal discussion in craft books. When chapters do show up in a writing book as a subject, it’s usually in reference to chapter endings. Here’s an example from the book <i>Scene & Structure</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> by Jack Bickham: <o:p></o:p></span></div><blockquote>You end chapters at places which will hook readers. You do not devise your chapters to provide convenient blank spaces in between them for purposes of transition. (p. 118)</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal">Multiple writing experts reiterated the fact that chapters <u>should not end when characters go to sleep</u>! A hook must be in place at the end of a chapter to propel readers forward. (<a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1530652707">For more about suspense and chapter endings, refer to Allyson’s April post about </a><i><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1530652707">Blackbringer</a></i><span style="font-style: normal;"><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/04/suspense-blackbringer-post-3.html"> by Laini Taylor</a>.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">But what about those chapter beginnings? What is their function? Is it the same as the opening of the book? <a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/09/narrative-hook-turtle-in-paradise-post3.html">Allyson’s last post on the narrative hook</a> analyzed how the first chapter of <b><i>Turtle in Paradise </i></b><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">hooks readers with the Four Ws (Who is the story about, where is it set, when does it take place, and what is going on?). Jessica Page Morrell, author of </span><i>Between the Lines: Master the Subtle Elements of Fiction Writing</i><span style="font-style: normal;">, has a slightly different take on beginnings:<o:p></o:p></span></div><blockquote>All beginnings matter. Stories, scenes, and chapters cannot simply commence; they must create a tingle in the reader, pique curiosity, and thrust the story and readers ahead with potency and punch. (p. 39)</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">The chapter openings in <b><i>Turtle in Paradise </i></b><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">both pique the reader’s curiosity and propel them forward. Let’s take a look at an example from chapter eight.<o:p></o:p></span></div><blockquote>Maybe it’s because it’s only ever been Mama and me, but I don’t understand what’s so wonderful about having a big family. Someone’s always fighting, or not talking to someone else, or scrounging around trying to borrow money. Far as I can tell, relations are nothing but trouble. (p. 72)</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">What are the elements at work in this paragraph?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in;">1.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span>Character development. The first thing that strikes me about this paragraph is how much it reveals about character. It gives me a clear sense of how Turtle feels about living in close quarters with her extended family.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in;">2.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span>Voice. <a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/09/narrative-voice-turtle-in-paradise-post.html">Here is another example of narrative voice</a> in action, complete with attitude, opinion, and patterns of speech (“Far as I can tell…”).<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in;">3.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span>Pacing. The paragraph provides a moment of pause, a break between the action that wrapped up in the previous chapter and the action that’s about to start. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in;">4.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span>Creating questions. Turtle’s attitude makes me wonder why she feels this way. What’s happening with her family? What kind of trouble are we in for? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And so I keep on reading, quickly transitioning from Turtle’s thoughts to the action taking place in this chapter. My curiosity is piqued, and off Turtle and I go.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">All but two of the chapters in <b><i>Turtle in Paradise </i></b><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">begin in similar ways. And what’s really neat, if you’ll forgive the term, is the way I as a reader start to feel the rhythm and style of the story. After a while, I can’t wait to hear Turtle’s latest thoughts, such as this one from chapter thirteen:<o:p></o:p></span></div><blockquote>In my opinion, the fellas who make Hollywood pictures are really just salesmen. Instead of peddling girdles, they sell thrills and chills, and folks eat them up. Not me, though. I’m no sucker. I know there’s no such thing as giant apes climbing skyscrapers or mummies walking out of tombs. But just try telling that to the boys. (p. 123)</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Another revealing opinion. Another great transition. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">I want to return to the question of chapter endings and the hook or question that propels the reader forward. Some books, such as the Goosebumps series or the more recent 39 Clues series, end chapters with big cliffhangers. Readers flip the page, dying to know who’s behind the door or what happened when the lights went out. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">But some books don’t have big cliffhanger chapter endings. Books such as <i><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/search/label/Calpurnia%20Tate">The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate</a></i><span style="font-style: normal;"> tend to be more episodic, keeping action contained within chapters. On the scale between Goosebumps and C</span><i>alpurnia Tate</i><span style="font-style: normal;">, </span><b><i>Turtle in Paradise </i></b><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">probably falls toward the middle: sometimes the action ends with the chapter, and sometimes the chapter ends without resolving the conflict, leaving the reader to wonder what happens next. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">When chapters do end with resolution (the cat is banished, Slow Poke pays Turtle), then the next chapter opening absolutely must act as a hook to pull the reader into a new scene and new set of action, as happens in <b><i>Turtle in Paradise.</i></b><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoBodyText"><b><i>StorySleuths Tip #95: A strong chapter opening is so much more than a simple point of transition: it can reveal character, develop voice and, like a hook at the end of a chapter, propel the reader forward.</i></b><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/09/word-from-this-months-author-jennifer_6683.html">Post #5: A Word from Jennifer Holm</a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Heather Hedin Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16042719762118668832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-33002984349450728162010-09-16T07:40:00.000-07:002011-01-18T13:11:50.590-08:00THE NARRATIVE HOOK: Turtle in Paradise (Post#3)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_duGrvc5hn6w/TJIqRxE7cBI/AAAAAAAAAJ0/z8vOWPF3rDM/s1600/turtle.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" qx="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_duGrvc5hn6w/TJIqRxE7cBI/AAAAAAAAAJ0/z8vOWPF3rDM/s320/turtle.bmp" /></a></div><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Dear Fellow Sleuths ,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Well, I should really have started off this post, as it has to do with the beginning. It’s about the way the author successfully grabs you and makes you want to read more. In her </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">book <strong><em>What’s Your Story</em></strong>, Marion Dane Bauer says:</span><br />
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<blockquote><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The beginning of your story has one primary job: to capture your readers’ attention so they will want to go on reading. A narrative hook will do this for you. It will grab your readers and pull them into your story.(70)</span></blockquote><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The narrative hook, she says, is simply your story problem. It is the reason you’re writing the book, and the reason that your readers are going to stick with it—they want to see how that problem is solved, especially if they’ve come to like the character and want to see her succeed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">A quick word about “the beginning”. What is that? By when do you need to hook your reader? By the first line? The first paragraph or page? In her book <strong><em>The Writer’s Guide to Crafting Stories for Children</em></strong>, Nancy Lamb says, “At the most you’ve got two or three pages to hook the reader”. (35) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">A couple of days ago I was chatting to a friend who’d just had a manuscript consultation with an editor at Henry Holt. The editor commented that my friend was trying too hard to get the story problem out there in the first few sentences of the story. My friend explained that she was trying to hook the reader. The editor assured her that if the writing is solid, and the story compelling, you have a few pages to do that. The first sentence, while engaging, doesn’t need to be the hook. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">That said, it doesn’t hurt to have a riveting first sentence. In <strong><em>Turtle in Paradise</em></strong>, Jennifer Holm succeeds in writing a first sentence that makes you buckle up your seatbelt and strap in tight because you know you’re in for an exciting ride:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Everyone thinks kids are sweet as Necco Wafers, but I’ve only lived long enough to know the truth: kids are rotten. The only difference between grown-ups and kids is that grown-ups go to jail for murder. Kids get away with it. (3)</span></blockquote></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I love that! But while it pulls me into the story, is it the narrative hook? Does it tell me Turtle’s problem? Do I read that and know that she is a kid who’s being forced to leave home and take up roots in a strange place with people she doesn’t know? No, but it does give me an inkling that there are kids in her world who cause problems for her and for others, and she’s not very happy about it. The fuller problem is revealed over the course of the first chapter. But what this opening line DOES do is intrigue me and make me want to read more.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Marion Dane Bauer recommends that those first few pages in which you reveal the narrative hook contain what she calls <strong>the four Ws</strong>. Here is how they play out in <strong><em>Turtle in Paradise:</em></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><strong>WHO </strong>is the story about?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Within several paragraphs we know who the main character is. She’s a young girl living in the depression era, and times are tough. Within a couple of pages we know her name is Turtle and she’s ten. Referring back to Heather’s recent post about voice—we know Turtle is snarky -– “I’m not sweet,” I said. “I slugged Ronald Caruthers when he tried to throw my cat in the well, and I’d do it again”. (5) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><strong>WHERE </strong>is it set?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Within several pages we know that Turtle is on her way to Key West to stay with her Aunt Minerva. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><strong>WHEN</strong> is it taking place?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Page 1 of the novel bears the words,<em> June 1935</em>. But even without those specifics, we know from story details that the story is set in an earlier time. They’re driving in a Ford Model A and travelling on a road that kicks ups dust. The pickup truck in front of them is piled with belongings (an iron bed, a rocking chair) and children who are clearly not wearing seatbelts. The baby in that truck has bloomers tied on her head to keep the sun out of her eyes. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Aside from era, we know the story takes place during summer by Turtle’s description of sticking to the car’s leather seats, the dusty road, the baby with the sun in her eyes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><strong>WHAT</strong> is going on?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Within several pages we know what the story is about. We’ve seen the mean kids Turtle has had to deal with. We’ve met slick Archie and vulnerable Mama. We know that on Turtle’s journey she’s going to hit a few bumps in the road—literally and figuratively. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><strong>StorySleuths’ Tip #94:<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;"> Create a story beginning users won’t be able to resist by opening with an intriguing first line, getting your narrative hook out there within a few pages and remembering to reveal Marion Dane Bauer’s Four Ws.</span></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/09/chapter-beginnings-turtle-in-paradise.html">Post #4: Chapter Beginnings</a></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Posted by Allyson Valentine Schrier</span><br />
<blockquote></blockquote><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Allyson Valentine Schrierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060010674699666764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-46371049253039255512010-09-11T09:00:00.000-07:002011-01-18T13:10:56.219-08:00NARRATIVE VOICE: Turtle in Paradise (Post #2)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_63id3vYSpH4/TIrPhlCa8UI/AAAAAAAAASw/NHxEYTL2j10/s1600/turtle+in+paradise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_63id3vYSpH4/TIrPhlCa8UI/AAAAAAAAASw/NHxEYTL2j10/s200/turtle+in+paradise.jpg" width="133" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal">Dear Sleuths,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">How many times have you been at a writer’s conference where an editor says, “I’m looking for books with <i>voice</i><span style="font-style: normal;">”? The editor might use the phrase </span><i>distinctive narrative voice</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> or </span><i>authentic voice</i><span style="font-style: normal;">. Then, when pressed to explain what </span><i>distinctive narrative voice</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> is, the editor sheepishly shrugs and says, “It’s hard to explain, but I know it when I see it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">Sometimes, it feels like there is an entire sense of secrecy built up around the concept of voice. You hear about it all the time, but no one seems to agree on what it is or how to get it. Here is a quotation I found in one of my writing books:<o:p></o:p></div><blockquote>A strong, distinctive, authoritative writing voice is something most fiction writers want—and something no editor or teacher can impart. (p. 128, Self-editing for Fiction Writers)</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">Well, when I read Jennifer Holm’s book <b><i>Turtle in Paradise</i></b><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">, I thought to myself, “Here is a clear example of a distinctive and authentic narrative voice. I see it!” But what is that voice? How did Holm create it? Turns out, those editors weren’t lying. It is hard to explain. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">Let’s start with a description of voice (note, I did not use the word <i>definition</i><span style="font-style: normal;">). Author K. L. Going compares narrative voice to people’s actual voices: </span></div><blockquote>Our word choices and speech patterns reveal who we are, where we’re from, and what we’re thinking…. The same is true for narrative voice. Your narrator can be revealed by what he chooses to say and how he says it. (p. 113, Writing and Selling the YA Novel)</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>A way of seeing</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">Eleven-year-old Turtle, who narrates the story, “sees things for what they are,” and she has no qualms speaking her mind. Take this commentary at the beginning of chapter twelve: </div><blockquote>Everyone’s always saying that hard times bring out the best in people, but as far as I can tell, the only thing that hard times brings out is plain meanness. I left my shoes outside on the front porch last night, and some rotten kid stole them (p. 113). </blockquote><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">She has her own perspective on the world, one that’s informed by her experiences, and she has no problem disagreeing with what “everyone says.” <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Favorite phrases</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">The example above includes a couple of Turtle’s favorite phrases of speech, notably “as far as I can tell” and “rotten kids.” She also likes to say “it’s a fact,” “from where I’m sitting,” and “in my opinion.” Turtle has lots of opinions, and she shares them with authority and confidence. Returning to Going’s description of voice, Holm uses word choice and speech patterns to reveal Turtle’s character.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">Metaphorically speaking</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">Given Turtle’s “see things for what they are” attitude, you might guess that the voice of the novel is plain and straightforward. It’s not. While Turtle is cynical and at times jaded, she’s also sassy and witty, with a wry sense of humor. She comes up with unique metaphors to explain her take on events and people. For example, </div><blockquote>Mama’s always falling in love, and the fellas she picks are like dandelions. One day they’re there, bright as sunshine—charming Mama, buying me presents—and the next they’re gone, scattered to the wind, leaving weeds everywhere and Mama crying. (p. 6) </blockquote><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">Metaphors such as this appear throughout the book, enriching the narrative with distinctive imagery and pleasing comparisons. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">It’s important to note that the metaphors in the book fit with Turtle’s experiences and era. For example, about her mother, Turtle says, “’Mama’s head is so high in the clouds, I’m surprised she doesn’t bump into Amelia Earhart’” (p. 94). Every kid in 1935 knew about Amelia Earhart. It’s the perfect comparison, both showing us how crazy Turtle thinks Mama is as well as reflecting the time period of the book.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">Gee, that's swell</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">While helping to reveal character, narrative voice also helps build a sense of the book’s time period and setting. The kids in the Diaper Gang don’t say things like “That’s cool,” or “That rots.” They say “gee whiz” and “aww.” Words such as <i>fella</i><span style="font-style: normal;">, </span><i>gotta</i><span style="font-style: normal;">, </span><i>dough</i><span style="font-style: normal;">, </span><i>gang</i><span style="font-style: normal;">, </span><i>swell</i><span style="font-style: normal;">, </span><i>folks</i><span style="font-style: normal;">, </span><i>mama</i><span style="font-style: normal;">, and </span><i>sugar</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> all sound appropriate—even authentic—to the 1930s. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">They call it banter</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">In fact, as I read <b><i>Turtle in Paradise</i></b><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">, I couldn’t help but think about a few classic Katherine Hepburn movies such as “Bringing up Baby” or “The Philadelphia Story.” It was more than the choice of appropriate words and historical details such as references to Little Orphan Annie. It was the wittiness of dialogue. Here’s Slow Poke and Turtle after Slow Poke rescues Turtle from the water. <o:p></o:p></span></div><blockquote>“I thought you said you could swim like a fish,” Slow Poke chides me.</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><o:p></o:p></div><blockquote>“A dead one,” I say, and cough.</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><o:p></o:p></div><blockquote>“Honey,” Slow Poke says, shaking his head, “dead fish float.” (p. 68)</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">Slow Poke might be late to everything, but he’s got a quick wit, as do all the characters in <b><i>Turtle in Paradise</i></b><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">. This smart dialogue, which often ends on a perfect zinger, contributes to the overall narrative voice. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">Short story writer Sylvia Watanabe wrote an essay on voice in the book <i>Creating Fiction</i><span style="font-style: normal;">. After analyzing a story by Flannery O’Connor, Watanabe tried to “identify the specific aspects of a story’s voice.” These aspects, she says, include:</span></div><blockquote>choice of genre, articulation of point of view, treatment of exposition and dialogue, selection of detail, use of language… and the handling of sonics (the sound and rhythm of the prose). Voice, it would seem, abides everywhere in the story. (p. 202)</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">Perhaps therein lies the issue: <u><b>voice abides everywhere in the story</b></u>. I saw one person summarize voice as “what you write and how you write it.” It’s the combination of word choice, attitude, phrases of speech, regional or historical details, and patterns of speaking. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">The combination of all these elements in<b><i> Turtle in Paradise</i></b><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"> work together to create a distinctive narrative voice.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent"><b><i>StorySleuths Tip #93: When writing and revising, look for ways to use distinctive words, metaphors, dialogue, details and patterns of speech, as well as opinions and attitude, to enrich a story’s narrative voice.</i></b><br />
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<a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/09/narrative-hook-turtle-in-paradise-post3.html">Post #3: The Narrative Hook</a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Heather Hedin Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16042719762118668832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-69331794978091407302010-09-08T07:13:00.000-07:002011-01-18T13:09:42.690-08:00CREATING MEMORABLE CHARACTER NAMES: Turtle in Paradise<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Dear Fellow Sleuths,</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_duGrvc5hn6w/TIeYHZrp9kI/AAAAAAAAAJs/SGgNIbQ6W_Q/s1600/turtle+in+paradise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_duGrvc5hn6w/TIeYHZrp9kI/AAAAAAAAAJs/SGgNIbQ6W_Q/s320/turtle+in+paradise.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Whether or not you have finished reading Jennifer Holms’ marvelous book, <strong>Turtle in Paradise</strong>, you’ve likely already noticed the brilliant job she’s done choosing character names. There’s Turtle, the endearing main character. Slow Poke, a secondary character who plays a large role in Turtle’s life. Turtle’s cat, Smokey, who’s unfortunate name was chosen, prophetically, before her tail was ever set on fire. In choosing names such as these, Holm has honored several rules concerning the naming of characters. First, she has assigned names that are both memorable and fun, and that will appeal to her intended readership. Second, the character names have meaning. Consider Turtle, tough on the outside, but soft and vulnerable beneath, who literally comes out of her shell as the story evolves, discovering aspects of self and family. And the ever-tardy Slow Poke, who, upon learning that his true love, Sadiebelle has gotten married, comments, “Huh—too late again.”</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Following another rule, Holm has been careful to select names that reflect the time in which the story takes place. When the story opens and Turtle is reminiscing about the kids that have made her life miserable, she mentions Josephine, Sylvia and Marvin—not Caitlyn, Maddie and Aidan. It turns out that if you do the math, these characters would have been born in 1923 (they are 12 and the story is set in 1935). Referring to the <a href="http://www.socialsecurity.gov/OACT/babynames">US Government’s Social Security site</a> I found that in 1923 all three of these names appeared on that year’s top 100 baby names list. And looking at statistics for 1905 (around when I thought Aunt Minnie would have been born) I found that the name Minnie was #35 on the popularity chart for that year.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Holm has also taken care to choose character names that reflect the story’s location. In her Author’s Note, she points out that nicknaming was a tradition in Key West. She gives the Key West local residents names that are in keeping with that tradition. There’s the pair of best buddies Beans and Pork Chop, the baby Pudding, and the calamitous friend they all avoid, Too Bad. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We contacted Jennifer Holm (who wins the blue ribbon for Author Quickest to Reply to a StorySleuth’s Email!) and asked her a couple of questions about how she chose names for <strong>Turtle in Paradise</strong>:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><strong><blockquote><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><strong>StorySleuths:</strong> All the names in Turtle in Paradise shine with originality. Would you share a few thoughts about how you came up with the names you used in this book? Also, was it an intentional choice to have Turtle and Slowpoke have names that one can draw a strong connection between?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><strong>Holm:</strong> That's a great question. So ... "Turtle" was actually a nod to the historic turtling industry of Key West (green turtle soup, anyone?) Some of the names were inspired by Key West nicknames ("Beans" and "Johnny Cakes" and "Killie the Horse"). There's a man who grew up in KW who actually went around and catalogued peoples' nicknames. "Pork Chop" just sort of grew out of Beans (Pork Chop and Beans--they just go together!) "Papa" was actually Ernest Hemingway's local KW nickname. And finally, "Slow Poke" was more of a little tease for the reader to understand that he's always been chronically late ... and that sometimes being late has big consequences.</span></blockquote></strong></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><strong>More on Choosing Names</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">There are plenty of web sites that offer tips about how to choose names. Two that I found to be particularly useful are the Tips for Writers section of the <a href="http://www.babynames.com/character-names.php">Baby Names website</a>, and Anne Marble’s article <em>Name That Character</em>! at the <a href="http://www.writing-world.com/romance/names.shtml">Writing-World website</a>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And where do you go to choose names that help make your characters come to life on the page? I recall a lecture I attended years ago in which Jack Gantos shared one of his sources—graveyards. But you don’t need to walk amongst the dead to find terrific names for your characters, as there are fun and informative sites available online to both look for names, or generate your own.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The <a href="http://www.babynames.com/">Baby Names site</a> offers lists sorted not just by boy and girl, but even has a “cool names” option with categories like spooky names, names in sports, and top pet names. And there is the <a href="http://www.socialsecurity.gov/OACT/babynames">Social Security website</a> already mentioned which not only lists popular names for a particular birth year, but can show you how a particular name has waxed and waned in popularity over time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">To generate names, take a look at<a href="http://www.jimwegryn.com/Names/FictionNames.htm"> A Barrel Full of Names</a>, or <a href="http://www.seventhsanctum.com/index-name.php">The Seventh Sanctum name generator</a> which generates names for specific categories like your fantasy character, your gnome or your princess. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">StorySleuths Tip #92: When choosing character names do your research and choose names that are not only fun and meaningful, but that also reflect the time and location in which the story takes place.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/09/narrative-voice-turtle-in-paradise-post.html">Post #2: Narrative Voice</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><strong>Posted by Allyson Valentine Schrier</strong></span><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Allyson Valentine Schrierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060010674699666764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-12445370206155606422010-09-01T08:30:00.000-07:002010-09-01T10:04:49.434-07:00Happy September!Dear StorySleuths Readers,<br />
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All across the country, children are heading back to school. Summer vacation is over! We hope you had lots of time to read while at the beach, the pool, or in the backyard.<br />
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We'll be hanging on to summer a bit longer in our upcoming September read, <i>Turtle in Paradise</i> by Jennifer L. Holm. It's the story of an eleven-year-old girl sent to live with relatives in Key West, Florida. If you haven't yet read <i>Turtle in Paradise</i>, grab it for Labor Day weekend! It's a humorous, fast-paced tale, the perfect book for the last official weekend of summer.<br />
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We will be hitting a milestone here at StorySleuths at the end of September: our first year of blogging! We've read eleven middle grade and young adult novels, plus looked at eight picture books, uncovering 90 writing tips along the way.<br />
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As we plan for the next year, we thought it would be great to know a little bit more about you, our readers. Would you take a few minutes to tell us who you are, what you like about StorySleuths, and what you'd like to see in the future? You could either leave us a comment below, or if you prefer, complete <a href="http://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/358912/StorySleuths-Reader-Survey">a short survey</a> (guaranteed not to take longer than three minutes!).<br />
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We're sad to announce that Meg has decided to take a leave of absence in the coming months. She has been an invaluable member of the StorySleuths team. Her schedule is booked this fall, however, due to teaching commitments. Hopefully, she'll grab her magnifying glass and join us from time to time.<br />
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In the meantime, have a wonderful Labor Day weekend! We look forward to discussing <i>Turtle in Paradise</i> after the holiday. (Oh, and for those of you who like to read ahead, we'll be looking at<i> Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief</i> in October. What makes it such an engrossing read? One that kids just can't put down? We can't wait to find out.)<br />
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Heather and Allyson<div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Heather Hedin Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16042719762118668832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-12413958842717252062010-08-10T05:28:00.000-07:002010-08-10T10:29:26.338-07:00Interview with Karen Cushman: Alchemy and Meggy Swann (Post # 7)<div style="color: orange;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_duGrvc5hn6w/TGF72EWyx9I/AAAAAAAAAJU/3EN-WWkRZmc/s1600/karen+cushman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" mx="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_duGrvc5hn6w/TGF72EWyx9I/AAAAAAAAAJU/3EN-WWkRZmc/s320/karen+cushman.jpg" /></a></div>We StorySleuths are delighted that Karen Cushman, in addition to being a gifted and prolific writer, is an articulate speaker about her own writing process. Having heard her present at the SCBWI Western Washington SCBWI May meeting, we—along with many others—hope that at some point she will write a book about writing for children. In the meantime, we asked her to respond to some questions about writing <i><b>Alchemy and Meggy Swann</b></i>, and she graciously agreed. </div><div style="color: red;"><br />
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1. In your May presentation, you described your writing process as “getting the character from here to there.” You mentioned that on occasion you go back and add action to liven the story up, and we are wondering if you can think of an example where you added action to the story of Meggy to “liven it up.”<br />
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<blockquote>The scene in the print shop where the fine gentleman talks to Meggy about the baron and her ballad was at first a short, straightforward give-and-take, but there was no tension or drama in it. Adding more confrontational dialogue and a few actions and gestures heightened the sense of danger and Meggy's anxiety and made the scene much more lively.<br />
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2. In the webcast about your writing that was recorded at TOPS school in Seattle in May [NOTE to StorySleuths readers—unfortunately the interview is no longer available online], you mentioned that you find the names of your characters in many sources, including your imagination. One source you mentioned is a book about a queen’s expenses and the names of the trades people recorded there. As a “Meg myself, I’m wondering if Meggy had any special connotations for you? I also wonder if her surname intentionally echoes the image of the ugly ducking who becomes a beautiful swan?<br />
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<blockquote>Here's the first answer I wrote to this question: "I wish had thought of the duckling to swan metaphor. I might have made more of it. But I didn't. I played around with ideas for the main characters name to see what sounded and fit her best. She was Bessie Blount at first and progressed through many alterations until I hit upon Meggy Swann. I <br />
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liked the sound of it, and Meggy was born." But then I found this comment in an interview I gave about a year ago: "She was Bessie Blunt and then Meggy Blunt and then as I wrote about her, the idea of an ugly duckling growing to be a swan led me to Swann." So there you are. You cannot trust a fiction writer. We make up stories even when we're trying to tell the truth. So which is truth and which the story? Ah, that's another question.</blockquote><br />
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3. You have done a fantastic job of creating characters that are memorable and distinct. Did you have a clear picture of Meggy before you started writing, or did she evolve as the story unfolded?<br />
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<blockquote>Meggy definitely grew and changed as the story unfolded. Somewhere about a year into it, I titled a draft "Feisty Meggy," and it was there that I began to make her less meek and pliable and more like the Meggy we know.<br />
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And her wabbling came about because she had to have a big, serious, important reason to want to be transformed. I began to research types of disabilities. I had to know exactly what was wrong with Meggy, even though she didn't. I decided she had bilateral hip dysplasia, looked into the effects of that, and practiced walking the way she might have in order to describe it as accurately as I could.</blockquote><br />
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4. What changes and revisions in the text did your editor suggest? Were there changes that your editor suggested that you both decided, after considering them, not to make in the final text?<br />
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<blockquote>Dinah thought there should be more focus on romantic feelings between Meggy and Roger. "After all," she said, "Juliet was only 13." Ah, said I, but Juliet is fiction. And I quoted extensively from academic sources that estimated the average age of marriage in the Elizabethan era at 26 for men and 23 for women. Men, after all, had to be able to support a wife and family. And celibacy was the only truly effective means of birth control. So Dinah, with a sigh, gave in.<br />
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But she prevailed in her suggestion that I cut some of the description. I wanted to use rollicking, roiling words to describe every house, person, business, piece of flotsam or jetsam in the crazy, chaotic city. She convinced me that enough was enough.<br />
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And see also the answer to question 7.</blockquote><br />
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5. There are such rich details in Alchemy and Meggy Swann that set the character very firmly in Elizabethan London. We are curious about the kind of research you did to accomplish this. Did the story change in any way as a direct result of the research you did?<br />
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<blockquote>In one of the books I was reading about Elizabethan England, I found references to the vagabond laws. I did more research on them and discovered that even players might be considered vagabonds or outlaws if they did not have some noble patron. And so Grimm and Merryman's troubles were born.<br />
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And in another book I found the term "dancing house." More research. I decided to add such a place to the narrative and that led eventually to Meggy's desire to dance and, at the very end, Meggy dancing.<br />
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6. Was there is a particular element of writing craft that you struggled with, and if so, how did you overcome it?<br />
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Plot. Always plot. I read about writing graphs and narrative arcs and such tools for enlivening a plot. They never seem to fit the story I am trying to tell. I seem to wallow in character and setting and struggle with a plot, with telling versus withholding, with hero versus adversary. I don't think I ever really overcome it. I take my characters and put them into a setting, lay out the trajectory of the story, and go.</blockquote><br />
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7. As writers ourselves we often find ourselves going down a path in the story only to find out that it is not a place that enriches the story as we had hoped and so we cut it. Were there any scenes you wrote that you really loved, but they just didn't fit into the story?<br />
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<blockquote>I cut, not without a few tears, the first two chapters, which dealt with Meggy at her village home, the ride into London with her kindly Uncle Ott, and her first impressions of the town. Like this, when they begin to cross the bridge into London: [quote]<br />
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<blockquote>What woke her was the stink, a sour stew of fish, sewage, horses, and sweat. Short of Hell, she wondered, what kind of place would smell like this?<br />
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Or was it the cursing coming from her uncle on the wagon seat beside her...The wheels as they turned churned the mud and cow droppings on the bridge into a great mucky sludge.<br />
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No, it was the muck that woke her, she thought. Certes it was the muck, a wad of which flew up and hit her cheek. Yes, definitely the muck. She wiped her face with her skirt and looked around at the people, animals, and wagons crowded about me. “Is this London then, Uncle?” she asked.<br />
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“Ah, no, Meggy, my heart’s love, my lily-faced poppet,” said my uncle. “’Tis but the bridge, the gateway to the wonders that are London.”<br />
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“Somewhat unwholesome wonders belike, Uncle,” she said as the turning wheels splashed more muck onto her.[end quote]</blockquote>Dinah convinced me this all was backstory and the story really started with Meggy in the little house in London bemoaning her fate,</blockquote><blockquote><br />
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8. Could you share one Writing Tip that you learned in the process of writing Alchemy and Meggy Swann?<br />
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<blockquote>Bring action to description. Don't just paint a picture of a scene but put someone doing something into it. Early on, for example, I had many paragraphs describing peddlers on the crowded streets of London. It was great description but lifeless. When I lessened the number of peddlers and had them move and shout and interact with Meggy, they came to life. </blockquote><br />
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<div style="color: orange;">Thank you, Karen. For more information about Karen and her books, <a href="http://www.karencushman.com/">visit her website</a>.</div><br />
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<b>StorySleuths Tip # 91: With thanks to Karen Cushman: “Bring action to description. Don’t just paint a picture of a scene but put someone doing something into it.”</b><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Meg Lipperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14108563731849800922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-31678197275968873982010-08-01T11:25:00.000-07:002010-09-04T08:52:02.153-07:00TRANSITIONS: Alchemy and Meggy Swann (Post # 6 of 6)<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">Dear Heather and Meg,</span><br />
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In my own writing I am working on transitions—how do I smoothly cut from one scene to another within a chapter? How do I keep my transitions from bogging down the pacing? Here, I will point out a couple of techniques I noticed in reading <strong><em>Alchemy and Meggy Swann.</em></strong><br />
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<strong>#1 Passage of time sets up a transition</strong><br />
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On page 12, Meggy has been left by Roger to spend her first night in the skinny house at Crooked Lane. The encounter between Roger and Meggy ends when she, “pulled her cloak over her head and settled back into her nightmares. <br />
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The very next paragraph opens with, “Morning came at last, as it ever does.” From here Meggy goes on to experience her second day in London. By having Meggy fall asleep, then wake up, Cushman sets up for a transition from one scene to the next. She does this same thing again on page 34, where one scene ends with, “She slept again, feeling not quite so alone. And thus ended Meggy’s second day in the house at the Sign of the Sun.” The next scene begins with, “She woke to soft rain.” This quick switch from night to day prepares the reader for a change in scene while keeping the story moving forward.<br />
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<strong>#2 Change in location sets up a transition</strong><br />
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When writing a first draft, when I want my character to move to a new location for a new scene, I find that I often show the physical movement from Point A to Point B. This movement serves to interrupt the story's pacing, slowing things down. Cushman demonstrates that the movement is not necessary—just put the character on scene in whatever the next location is. Here, on page 89, Meggy is at Master Allyn’s print shop. The scene ends with, “Meggy bade them farewell, left them to their troubles, and went home to her own.”<br />
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A less experienced writer might feel a need to show Meggy hobbling for home, perhaps tossing in a little inner dialogue or conversations with strangers along the way. Instead, Cushman’s next sentence is on scene in the next location:<br />
<blockquote>Her father was seated at the table, a jug of ale before him. He looked up at her, his eyes as flat and black and cold as bits of coal in his pale face.</blockquote>Another example takes place on page 141, where Meggy is home alone, confronted with just how sorry her lot in life is: <br />
<blockquote>She blubbered and sniveled. Finally, damp and exhausted, she wiped her nose, tied her linen cap on tighter, and hurried from the house. There was one thing she could remedy.</blockquote><br />
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<blockquote>She pounded the bear’s iron paw against the Grimms’ front door, but no one answered.</blockquote>Here again, Cushman doesn’t waste time showing the character moving from Point A to Point B, instead she simply puts the character on location and keeps the story flowing.<br />
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<strong>StorySleuths’ Tip # 90: To change scenes mid chapter consider a quick shift in time or location to move the story forward without slowing down the pacing.</strong><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Allyson Valentine Schrierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060010674699666764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-5452234523729574692010-07-29T11:23:00.000-07:002010-07-29T11:23:37.500-07:00PLAYING WITH LANGUAGE: Alchemy and Meggy Swann (Post # 5 of 6)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_0nX1Ndx3Zg0/TE-cq7logxI/AAAAAAAAAIE/wrZVL86-NR8/s1600/alchemy+and+meggy+swann.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_0nX1Ndx3Zg0/TE-cq7logxI/AAAAAAAAAIE/wrZVL86-NR8/s320/alchemy+and+meggy+swann.png" /></a></div>Dear Heather and Allyson,<br />
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What you said about details and about every word counting, Heather, got me thinking about the specific words that Cushman selected in writing <i><b>Alchemy and Meggy Swann</b></i> to (1) convey the historical time/setting, and (2) develop the characters. <br />
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Some of the unusual words, like “gallimaufry” (p. 4), “fishwife” (p. 4), and “kirtle” (p. 60), were in use in Elizabethan times but are not in common use today, while others, like “dampnified” (p. 4), “annoyous” (p. 10), and “tipsify” (p. 59), seem to have been created out of familiar words. They convey a feeling for another time by sounding old, even though they aren’t “real” words. They sound as if they could be real, though, because we recognize the root of the word, but the added syllables or suffixes are decoys Cushman has used to create the illusion of past usage. <br />
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Cushman also uses familiar words in unusual combinations to convey a feeling for the past and to delineate characters, such as Meggy’s repeated exclamation, “ye toads and vipers,” which opens the story and introduces Meggy:<br />
<blockquote>“Ye toads and vipers,” the girl said, as her granny often had, “ye toads and vipers,” and she snuffled a great snuffle that echoed in the empty room. (p. 1) </blockquote>Cushman uses the phrase “ye toads and vipers” to individualize Meggy while also filling in part of her backstory--noting that “the girl” had learned the phrase from her granny establishes the connection between them at the outset. And each time “ye toads and vipers” is echoed throughout the novel we get a familiar jolt of recognition. <br />
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During a presentation that Karen Cushman made to the <a href="http://scbwi-washington.org/">Western Washington Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators</a> in May, when asked how she came up with some of the unique words that she used to push the story back to Elizabethan times, Cushman said that the <i><b>Historical Thesaurus of the Oxford English Dictionary</b></i> was a rich resource, as were Shakespeare’s plays, “especially for the insults.” Also, she said, “I sometimes made the structure of the sentence a bit odd” to give the story a sense of both familiarity and distance.<br />
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Cushman’s message was to be creative and stretch the limits—but not too far. I can imagine her chortling over some wonderful constructions as she wrote <i><b>Alchemy and Meggy Swann</b></i>. One of my favorites is this enraged outburst Meggy addressed to Roger when he turned his back on her and began walking away during one of their altercations:<br />
<blockquote>“Go then, you writhled, beetle-brained knave!” she shouted. “You churl, you slug, you stony-hearted villain! May onions grow in your ears!” (p. 124) </blockquote><br />
<b>Storysleuths’ Tip # 89: Tackle the challenge of language like a giant jigsaw puzzle, searching in reference materials (and your own imagination) to find pieces that fit together to delineate characters and clarify setting, while avoiding overloading the text with arcane, awkward words and phrases.</b><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Meg Lipperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14108563731849800922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-27176864881797445092010-07-26T16:45:00.000-07:002010-07-26T16:45:07.518-07:00EVERY DETAIL MATTERS: Alchemy and Meggy Swann (Post #4 of 6)<!--StartFragment--> <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_63id3vYSpH4/TE4cKYgv7nI/AAAAAAAAASg/rqzUFBf0_js/s1600/alchemy+and+meggy+swann.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_63id3vYSpH4/TE4cKYgv7nI/AAAAAAAAASg/rqzUFBf0_js/s200/alchemy+and+meggy+swann.gif" width="135" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal">Dear Meg and Allyson, <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">How many times have you heard an editor or writing teacher say that every detail in a novel counts? That every scene, action, description, sentence, <i>word</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> must contribute in some way, whether advancing the plot, deepening character, or establishing setting? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I’ve attended enough SCBWI meetings and writing conferences to have absorbed this writing edict, and yet sometimes, when I hear it proclaimed, I think, “Really? Every word? Every description? What if something extraneous slips through?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Well, I had the opportunity this last month to compare a book where every detail matters to a book where some scenes seem, well, unnecessary. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Let’s start with the latter. I won’t name names. Suffice it to say that I picked up the latest mystery novel of a well-known author who has made a career writing fiction and non-fiction all set in a particular place, which I was planning to visit on vacation. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Now, part of the pleasure of this author’s books is the vicarious thrill of reading about beautiful settings, fabulous meals, and witty conversations, but I found myself wondering the purpose some of these scenes served. Why was the author spending so much time describing the gourmet five-course meal the protagonist ate <i>alone</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> during a layover? Would some detail show up later in the book? Would the character return to the restaurant later? Would he discover a clue there to help solve the crime? Alas, the answer was no. The restaurant scene had no function other than showing the character indulging in a good meal. The story would have functioned just as well without it.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I compare this to our July book, Karen Cushman’s <b><i>Alchemy and Meggy Swann</i></b><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">, where every detail seems to matter. Take, for example, the ballad sellers that appear on the streets of Elizabethan London. The first one appears on page 27: <o:p></o:p></span></div><blockquote>“Come and buy,” a ballad seller called, “a new ballad of Robin Hood.”</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">This line is embedded within a long series of paragraphs describing Meggy’s first walk in London. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">A ballad seller appears again on page 44. <o:p></o:p></div><blockquote>“Come and buy a ballad newly made,” a passing balled seller called. “Mayhap ‘The Ballad of Good Wives’ or ‘The Lover and the Bird.’”</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">This time, the ballad seller is more than just one of many people on the busy street. The way he carries his papers in a backpack gives Meggy an idea about how to carry her goose, Louise, while also grasping her walking sticks. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Another ballad seller appears on page 74, and at this point, I’m beginning to think, “There were a lot of ballad sellers in London!” Soon, Meggy meets a ballad printer while on an errand for her father. And then Meggy runs into yet another ballad seller while standing outside the baron’s gate on page 130. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">What a pleasant surprise (and yet not wholly unexpected) to learn, then, that the solution to Meggy’s problem relates to selling ballads! The way Cushman integrates details about ballad selling and printing, as well as Meggy’s skills with singing and language, make the climax of this story satisfying. The novel feels <a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/01/unity-geektastic.html">unified</a>, a tightly woven tapestry where every strand counts. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Let me just conclude by saying that the ballad seller is not the only seemingly small detail that grows in importance in <b><i>Alchemy and Meggy Swann</i></b>. Look back at the book to references to the heads on the Tower Bridge and the issue about players needing noble patronage.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoBodyText"><b>StorySleuths Tip #88: Make sure every detail matters. Look for ways to introduce important details early in the story and then re-introduce them throughout the book to create a unified effect. </b><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><!--EndFragment--><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Heather Hedin Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16042719762118668832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-38355043117214997152010-07-21T08:58:00.000-07:002010-09-04T08:52:32.951-07:00ASKING QUESTIONS THROUGH INNER DIALOGUE: Alchemy and Meggy Swann (Post #3 of 6)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_duGrvc5hn6w/TEcXppFFoFI/AAAAAAAAAJM/hXxtv7ZnSDc/s1600/cushman.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" hw="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_duGrvc5hn6w/TEcXppFFoFI/AAAAAAAAAJM/hXxtv7ZnSDc/s200/cushman.bmp" width="135" /></a></div><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Dear Heather and Meg,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">In Meg’s most recent post about <strong><em>Alchemy and Meggy Swann</em></strong> she points to one of Meggy’s problems being her loneliness—she is alone in part or all of many scenes. As a result, much of the dialogue that takes place is inner dialogue—Meggy pondering, noticing, fretting. In looking at how Karen Cushman uses this inner dialogue I became particularly interested in the way that Meggy is continually asking herself questions. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">As the story gets underway, on page 2, Meggy has just arrived at what is to be her new home. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">“Darkness comes late in high summer, but come it does. Meggy could see little of the room she sat in. Was there food here? A cooking pot? Wood for a fire? Would the peevish looking man—Master Peevish, she decided to call him—would he come down and give her a better welcome?”</span></blockquote></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Over the following pages Meggy asks herself questions all the time:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">• What sort of place was this London? (p. 6)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">• Was Master Peevish coming down? Was he sorry he had given her so poor a welcome? (p. 7)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">• What was she to do to quiet her grumbling belly? (p. 13)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">•Would Master Peevish come downstairs? Did he even recall she was there?</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Would the boy in the brown doublet come back? (p. 13)</span></span></blockquote></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This continues throughout the book, and I think the thing that drew my attention to it is the fact that these questions often appear in clusters. This question-asking accomplishes several things. First, it gives me, the reader, a direct line to, and constant reminder of, Meggy’s problems. Second, it creates suspense. Each of these questions demands an answer. Sometimes the answer comes right away. Sometimes Meggy wonders the same thing over a series of pages and scenes leaving both herself and the reader wondering whether or not her question will be answered and her problems solved. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Further, questions asked by the protagonist allow both the reader and the protagonist to assess progress the character is making toward accomplishing her goals. Toward the end of the book, on page 155 as the story has nearly come to its conclusion Meggy wonders, </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">“Was she so changed? Just when had that happened, and how?” These questions allow both Meggy and the reader to stop for a moment and ponder the answers, revisiting the path that led to the main character accomplishing her goals.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><strong>StorySleuths’ Tip # 87: Allowing the protagonist to ask questions can emphasize problems, create suspense and track the character’s progress toward realizing their goals.</strong> </span><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Allyson Valentine Schrierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060010674699666764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-2082109658573020062010-07-17T07:15:00.000-07:002010-07-17T07:15:45.088-07:00CHARACTER TRANSFORMATION: Alchemy and Meggy Swann (Post #2 of 6)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_0nX1Ndx3Zg0/TD-fwLNFnII/AAAAAAAAAHo/6wojzpMWK00/s1600/Alchemy+and+Meggy+Swann.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_0nX1Ndx3Zg0/TD-fwLNFnII/AAAAAAAAAHo/6wojzpMWK00/s320/Alchemy+and+Meggy+Swann.jpeg" /></a></div>Hi Allyson and Heather,<br />
<br />
We’ve given 13 of our posts the “characters” label--we’ve examined antagonists, minor characters, contrasting characters, character development, character wants vs. needs, putting characters under pressure, and differentiating characters through dialogue, among other character-related topics. But no matter how many times and how many ways we look at character, it seems there’s always something new to learn about character from great writers. <br />
<br />
One of the many qualities of Karen Cushman’s writing that intrigues me is the power and immediacy of her characters. I wondered: how does Cushman entice me to care so keenly about Meggy? In rereading <i><b>Alchemy and Meggy Swann</b></i>, I looked for clues that might help me portray vivid characters in my own writing.<br />
<br />
In the same way that Cushman <a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/#uds-search-results">describes the setting of Elizabethan London</a> using various ways (the five senses, contrast, lists, and language), she defines Meggy’s problems and strengths in various ways. Cushman uses repetition, dialogue, and the five senses to clarify Meggy’s problems, and she uses action, memories and dreams to clarify Meggy’s strengths.<br />
<br />
<b>FOR PROBLEMS </b><br />
<br />
<b>Repetition</b><br />
<br />
Meggy’s first problem is that she is alone. Her opening exclamation is a response to her aloneness:<br />
<blockquote>“Ye toads and vipers,” the girl said, as her granny often had, “Ye toads and vipers,” and she snuffled a great sniffle that echoed in the empty room. She was alone…” (p.1)</blockquote><br />
Farther down the page, “alone” is echoed:<br />
<blockquote>She was alone, with no one to sustain or support her.</blockquote><br />
"Alone" is echoed again in the same paragraph:<br />
<blockquote>Belike Louise was on her way back out of the town with the carter, leaving the girl here frightened and hungry and alone. (p. 1-2)</blockquote><br />
And it is reechoed again, at the end of the chapter:<br />
<blockquote>The dark, the cold, the strange noises, the unfriendly man who had judged her, found her wanting, and left her alone— (p. 6)</blockquote><br />
The repetition of “alone” tolls like a bell, reminding us of Meggy’s aloneness. <br />
<br />
<b>Dialogue</b><br />
<br />
Meggy has another problem: she’s hungry. Although we’re told that she’s hungry (“frightened and hungry and alone”), her hunger is emphasized as we listen to her interact with other characters through dialogue. She calls to Roger:<br />
<blockquote>“You cannot abandon me here. What am I to do here? Who will tend to me? And fetch me things to eat?” (p. 11) </blockquote>She adds:<br />
<blockquote>“You will have to fetch me food.” (p. 12) </blockquote>Hearing her desperate pleas for food in her own words emphasizes the intensity of her problem.<br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>The five senses</b><br />
<br />
By using the five senses to describe Meggy’s pain and sadness, Cushman engages readers directly—we <b>see </b>her tears:<br />
<blockquote>…tears left shining tracks like spider threads on her cheeks (p. 2), <b> </b></blockquote><b>touch</b> and <b>taste</b> them:<br />
<blockquote>…she could not dash the tears away. They felt sticky on her lips, and salty. (p. 3); </blockquote><b>hear</b> her singing:<br />
<blockquote>…she sang, but the sound of her trembly voice in the empty room was so mournful that she stopped and sat silent while darkness grew.” (p. 4) </blockquote>and <b>smell</b> what comforts her:<br />
<blockquote>she breathed in the familiar smell of goose and grew sleepy. (p. 6).</blockquote>The strong sensory images connect us viscerally to Meggy.<br />
<br />
<b>FOR STRENGTHS</b><br />
<br />
<b>Action</b><br />
<br />
Meggy’s transformations from hunger to eating, from loneliness to neighborliness, from pain to strength, all begin with action. Driven by hunger, Meggy sets out to buy food.<br />
<blockquote>A rumble from her belly finally sent Meggy reaching for her walking sticks. (p. 24) </blockquote>At the end of this venture she takes the initiative to introduce herself to the friendly cooper:<br />
<blockquote>“Margret Swann, if it please you.” Then, surprising herself, she added, “Called Meggy, if you will.” (p. 31) </blockquote>Meggy’s actions continue to get her what she longs for—friendship:<br />
<blockquote>“Nay, you have a friend” (p. 57), </blockquote>food:<br />
<blockquote>She sat down at the table and feasted on chicken and apple cake (p. 60), </blockquote>and strength:<br />
<blockquote>"I will stand, Master Printer. I am not breakable, and I be stronger than I look." And to her surprise, she realized she was. (p. 87) </blockquote><b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Memories</b><br />
<br />
In addition to action, Meggy’s memories are sources of her strength. Memories of her gran give her empathy for others and “ease her spirit.”<br />
<blockquote>Her gran, soft and warm and smelling of meadow grasses and ale, had cooed at her so and sung her to sleep. Meggy let the little girls snuggle up against her, which eased her spirit just as the drink eased her bones. (p. 51)</blockquote><b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Dreams</b><br />
<br />
Meggy’s dreams lead directly to her transformation.<br />
<blockquote>In her dreams she danced and ran, but only in her dreams. (p. 29)</blockquote> Suffice it to say, for those who haven’t yet finished the book, that transformation grows from Meggy’s actions, as well from the memories of her loving gran, and from her own dreams.<br />
<br />
<b>StorySleuths’ Tip # 86--Use all the tools in your writer’s toolbox to create complex and believable characters—including repetition, dialogue, the five senses, action, the character’s memories, and the character’s dreams, to make even radical transformation believable to readers. </b><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Meg Lipperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14108563731849800922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-40722323883182906092010-07-14T10:12:00.000-07:002010-07-14T10:14:30.127-07:00IMPRESSION, ELIZABETHAN LONDON: Alchemy and Meggy Swann (Post 1 of 6)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_63id3vYSpH4/TD3t58ZbDsI/AAAAAAAAASQ/ETMdmPmKb7o/s1600/9780547231846.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_63id3vYSpH4/TD3t58ZbDsI/AAAAAAAAASQ/ETMdmPmKb7o/s200/9780547231846.gif" width="135" /></a></div>Dear Meg and Allyson,<br />
<br />
Last month, we read <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">One Crazy Summer</span></span>, a work of historical fiction set in Oakland, California, 1968. Now we reach back in time with our July book, Karen Cushman's new middle grade novel<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"> Alchemy and Meggy Swann</span></span>, to another summer. Here it's 1573 in Elizabethan London, a city described by the protagonist as "all soot and slime, noise and stink" (p. 2).<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">(Quick scheduling note for those of you planning your summer reading: This is the first in our series of six posts on <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Alchemy and Meggy Swann</span>, which will culminate with an interview with Karen Cushman in early August. The StorySleuths will then spend the rest of August engaged in some summer reading of our own. We will return with a new book and fall schedule in September. To stay posted on our September read, <a href="http://storysleuths.us1.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=0528f5f489b0d2015a21322a7&id=57f6b66d9b">please sign up for our newsletter</a> .)</span><br />
<br />
Cushman brings London to life in <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Alchemy and Meggy Swann</span></span>, capturing both the specifics of the time period as well as the frenetic energy of an urban center in any time period:<br />
<blockquote>... the streets were gloomy, with tall houses looming on either side, rank with the smell of fish and the sewage in the gutter, slippery with horse droppings, clamorous with church bells and the clatter of car wheels rumbling on cobbles. London was a gallimaufry of people and carts, horses and coaches, dogs and pigs, and such noise that made Meggy's head, accustomed to the gentle stillness of a country village, ache. (p. 4).</blockquote>How does Cushman create such a vivid impression of Elizabethan London?<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">The five senses</span><br />
Cushman's narrative descriptions include sound, sight, smell, tastes, and touch. Here are just a few examples from Meggy's trip to find her friend Robert (p. 42):<br />
<blockquote>Sound: "Shop signs swung and banged in the wind..."</blockquote><blockquote>Sight: "... the afternoon was wet, with mist rising off the river."</blockquote><blockquote>Smell: "The girl and goose stood in the fragrant steam rising from an inn."</blockquote><blockquote>Taste: "The crust [of a pork pie] crumbled deliciously against her teeth..."</blockquote><blockquote>Touch: "... meaty juices bespattered her chin."</blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Contrast</span><br />
Meggy's childhood growing up in the country contrasts sharply with life in the city. <br />
<blockquote>She missed the scents of fresh ale and clean rushes and meat turning on the spit. This house stank of dust and mildew, and from somewhere, a foul reek like hen's eggs gone rotten. All in all it did not seem a place where people truly lived (p. 13).</blockquote>Cushman uses contrast to differentiate between Meggy's expectations and her present experiences.<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Lists</span><br />
Visiting a strange city is often exhausting: there is so much to observe at any given moment. Cushman creates the sensation of busy, crowded streets with lists rather than dense descriptions.<br />
<blockquote>Every corner swarmed with people: peddlers and rat catchers, toy merchants and dung collectors, silken-cloaked ladies and children in ragged breeches, all going about their lives, laughing, shouting, arguing, jeering, and jostling. (p. 26)</blockquote>The list jumps from one person to the next, providing a wide scope of view in a concise format. The reader never feels bogged down in detailed description or superfluous information. Furthermore, the list also mimics the way an observer's gaze jumps from one thing to another.<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Languag</span>e<br />
Cushman's choice of words also helps to convey the time period and location in her descriptions. Here is another list, this one of food:<br />
<blockquote>...apples and pears, carrots and cowcumbers, fat salmon, pigs' trotters, chunks of cheese, and ginger cakes. (p. 30).</blockquote>While I am unfamiliar with the term <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">cowcumber</span>, I assume it is an old-fashioned word for cucumber. The use of this word reminds me that the book takes place in another time and place.<br />
<br />
The setting of <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Alchemy and Meggy Swann</span></span> plays an important role in the book. Meggy has moved to London against her will, and she fears she will not survive in such a place. Cushman brings the chaos and vibrancy of the city to life throughout the book in a textured, almost impressionistic way through her use of senses, contrasts, lists, and language. <br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Tip #85: Lists, word choice, contrasts, and sense details work together to create a textured, lively impression of place.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Heather Hedin Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16042719762118668832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-53038205301590571252010-07-10T12:27:00.000-07:002010-07-10T13:31:44.697-07:00Guest post by Monica Edinger--ONE CRAZY SUMMER: Attending to your audience<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_duGrvc5hn6w/TDjJjA26qlI/AAAAAAAAAI8/9TjzM8arTHg/s1600/Rosemary,Rita,Monica+Edinger%5B1%5D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" rw="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_duGrvc5hn6w/TDjJjA26qlI/AAAAAAAAAI8/9TjzM8arTHg/s200/Rosemary,Rita,Monica+Edinger%5B1%5D.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="color: orange;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Thinking about how engaging <b><i>One Crazy Summer</i></b> might be for teachers to read with children, StorySleuths asked master teacher and 2008 Newbery Committee member Monica Edinger to share her thoughts and experiences of reading the story aloud to her class. Her insights illuminate considerations we as writers would do well to heed. For more of her insights about books for children, reading, writing, teaching, and much more, check out her blog <a href="http://medinger.wordpress.com/">Educating Alice</a>. (Photo is of Rosemary Brosnan and Rita Williams-Garcia with Monica.) This post may make you wish your children could be in Monica’s class!</span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">When I received the ARC for <b><i>One Crazy Summer</i></b> around a year ago, I took a look at the flap copy and was immediately intrigued. The summer of 1968? Folks in Afros and black berets? A time and people that I’d yet to see much of in stories for the age group I taught --- fourth graders. Those I had encountered often felt overly earnest, their authors working hard to make connections to situations today, say linking the Vietnam War to our current engagements in Afghanistan and Iraq. Or they focused on familiar icons and </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">events of the civil rights movement. This book looked different.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">And so it turned out to be. During that first reading a year ago I fell completely in love with those three sisters, their story, and Rita’s poetic and elegant prose. Months later, after learning that I’d reviewed it for the <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/17/books/review/Edinger-t.html?_r=1">New York Times</a>, my fourth grade students asked me to read it to them. They were alert and insightful listeners --- laughing as Fern said yet again “surely,” curious about the Black Panthers (I showed them that photo of Huey with the shotgun), and moved (not upset) by the girls’ complex mother.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">As I read and reread the book, on my own and to my students, I was progressively more and more impressed with Rita’s sensitivity for her intended audience. I've noticed that this is a particularly tricky thing for those writing for children. Some claim not to be aware of their audience while others seem too aware. Don’t you, I've ask some writers, think about your intended reader when writing? No, some of them answer, I only think about the story. But, I will persist, you clearly make decisions that affect that audience. You use one word instead of another. You consider what a young person will know or not know. Perhaps you do it unconsciously, but you do it. No, they will tell me, I just think about my story not about who will read it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">At the other end of the spectrum are those writers who over-think and over-focus on their young readers. These are writers who earnestly and always with the best of intentions, moralize and instruct all too obviously. One hilarious example is Lewis Carroll who talks down most cloyingly to his young audience in his <a href="http://www.aliang.net/literature/the_nursery_alice/tna_ch01.html">Nursery Alice</a>. </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">One of my students did a <a href="http://blogs.dalton.org/c18gi/2010/03/05/the-nursery-golden-compass/">wonderful parody</a> of this with, of all things, <b><i>The Golden Compass</i></b>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Rita, I feel, manages this tightrope just right. She respects her young readers, trusts them, and serves them beautifully. While not shying away from having Cecile tell Delphine about her sad and hellish childhood, she does it in a way appropriate for a middle grade reader. What it needed to be, but no more. Similarly, she doesn’t overdo the Black Panther information, giving them a taste, but no more. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">This spring Rita visited my classroom and met with our faculty book group where she spoke of deep awareness and personal connection to the Black Panthers. Yet she was very careful not to allow that personal knowledge to take over the story --- she always kept it completely grounded in Delphine, just the way it needed to be for her and for the children today who would read the story. For more about our day with Rita, how I read the book to my students, and their own responses to it please check out this blog post of mine, <a href="http://medinger.wordpress.com/2010/05/15/one-crazy-day/">One Crazy Day</a>.</span><br />
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<div style="color: orange;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Thank you, Monica, for this stunning and insightful post, which wraps up our StorySleuths focus on <b><i>One Crazy Summer</i></b>.</span></div><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><b>StorySleuths Tip # 84: Be aware of the audience and adjust the writing accordingly, but don’t overdo this so the writing becomes didactic or forced.</b></span><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Allyson Valentine Schrierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060010674699666764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-63190126156673849942010-07-06T08:50:00.000-07:002010-07-06T09:01:35.724-07:00Poet Julie Larios on Joyce Sidman’s UBIQUITOUS: “a symphony of a book”<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_duGrvc5hn6w/TDNPZWp3raI/AAAAAAAAAI0/wLsdp4ezzds/s1600/ubiq_cover_op_269x275.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" rw="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_duGrvc5hn6w/TDNPZWp3raI/AAAAAAAAAI0/wLsdp4ezzds/s320/ubiq_cover_op_269x275.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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The StorySleuths are once again overjoyed to share a review prepared especially for us by poet <a href="http://julielarios.blogspot.com/">Julie Larios</a>. This time, Julie looks at Joyce Sidman's book,<strong><em> UBIQUITOUS: Celebrating Nature's Survivors. </em></strong>Take it away, Julie! <br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Not only is “ubiquitous”* a good word to describe the poet <a href="http://www.joycesidman.com/">Joyce Sidman</a> lately (*Definition: something that is – or seems to be—everywhere at the same time), it’s also the title of her most recently released collection of poetry. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em><strong>UBIQUITOUS: Celebrating Nature’s Survivors</strong></em> is the new jewel in Sidman’s impressive string of picture books over the last five years, all of which have garnered critical attention and praise, and two of which (<strong><em>Red Sings from Treetops</em></strong> and <strong><em>Song of the Water Boatman</em></strong>) have been named Caldecott Honor books. Beckie Prange, the talented artist who paired up with Sidman for <em><strong>Song of the Water Boatman</strong></em>, is back, illustrating what some people might consider daunting subjects for poets and readers (bacteria, lichens, diatoms, grasses!) as well as more familiar animals and plants like sharks, coyotes, squirrels, and dandelions. Homo sapiens put in an appearance, as do crows, ants, beetles and—one of my favorites— mollusks (“…the pink lip/of a pearled world. // Who swirled your whorls and ridges?”) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">What could pull these seemingly unrelated subjects together into a collection of poetry? Well, it’s all there in the subtitle: These are nature’s survivors – tenacious, sturdy, prolific, adaptable, diverse and street-smart (meadow-smart , muck-smart, desert smart and saltwater-smart, too!) It’s a fresh and wonderful concept that’s been executed with elegance – and I do think “elegance” is the right word. The book is not as playful as <em><strong>Red Sings from Treetops</strong></em>, nor is it as serene as <em><strong>Song of the Water Boatman</strong></em>, nor as simple as This Is Just to Say. It isn’t a melody, as those other three seem to be; instead, this book feels positively symphonic. While each one of the poems might be said to function as part of a song line through the book, the non-fiction which accompanies each poem on the facing page is quite a bit longer and more densely packed. It provides deep harmony and variations on the theme. Think Beethoven for this book rather than Mozart! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">That’s not to say that Sidman’s particular style as a poet has changed. She’s still got her signature range of traditional forms (for example, several concrete poems, which echo the shape of the object being described) and rhythms, metered as well as free verse, rhyming and non-rhyming lines. This time around, though, the diction is slightly altered. For example, one of my favorites, called “Scarab,” (shaped like the beetle it describes) is almost incantatory: - you’re there, in Egypt, along with the Pharoahs, worshipping: </span><br />
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<blockquote> Having<br />
found me, you <br />
are blessed. Born a grub,<br />
cradled in rot, I am Sheath-wing, <br />
beloved of ancients. You have never<br />
seen armor like mine. As the sun-god<br />
rolls his blazing disk overhead, so I roll my <br />
perfect sphere of dung across the sands….</blockquote><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">(“Sheath-wing” is actually a translation of the word “coleoptera” – the scientific order to which beetles belong. Thank you, Joyce Sidman, for the look at etymology!) I was going to say that the diction and tone of the book are more serious, but that’s not right –they’re simply more intricate. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Have I said yet that teachers and non-fiction addicts will love this collection? On the page facing “Scarab,” the text provides readers with a whole slew of facts about relative size, length of time on earth, and traits which help it survive (did you know beetles have forewings that act almost like armor and allow the beetle to survive in just about any climate?) Added to this material, the illustrator provides a visual step-by-step of the insect’s larval stages. That’s what I mean about a symphony – all kinds of synchronic information to balance the melodic poetry. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Another strong poem (“Come with Us”) provides the song line for coyotes (canis latrans: barking dog!) </span><br />
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<blockquote><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Come, come with us! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Come into the woods at evening. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Come canter across the cornfields, </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Come slink in the dusk like smoke. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Come, come with us!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Come plunder the wind’s riches…. </span></blockquote><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Meanwhile, on the facing page, Sidman tells us about the adaptability of coyotes to whatever helps them survive, such as a change in social structure or natural habitat (coyote populations come closer and closer now to suburban settings.) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Animals don’t get all the attention. Look at how deftly Sidman handles the anthropomorphizing of grass: </span><br />
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<blockquote>I drink the rain, <br />
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I eat the sun; <br />
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Before the prairie woods<br />
I run…<br />
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On steppe or veld<br />
Or pampas dry, <br />
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Beneath the grand <br />
enormous sky, <br />
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I make my humble<br />
bladed bed. <br />
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And where there’s level ground, <br />
I spread.</blockquote><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">“…my humble / bladed bed.” That’s the kind of phrase only a talented poet can write. Someone else might have written “My humble little bed” and the whole poem would have imploded into sentimental schlock. But Sidman knows how to hunt for the perfect word. “Bladed” snaps the poem right back into the natural world – razor-sharp, not sweet and saccharine. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Prange’s linocuts, hand-colored with watercolors (thank you, Houghton Miflin, for providing this information on the pub data page of the book! How I wish more publishers did it!) employ a whole new palette of super-saturated colors for Sidman’s words. The title page alone is worth the price of admission – bright purple, fiery orange, glowing gold, deep black. And the end-papers – well, all I can say about those is don’t pass them up. An illustrator’s note at the end provides an explanation for them. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The author, illustrator, editor and book designer haven’t left a single thing out of this symphony of a book – poems, non-fiction notes, a glossary, author and illustrator notes, and a gecko whose body stands out in relief on the front cover (and whose tail wraps around to the back of the book!) UBIQUITOUS is a singular intersection of language, visual art and science . It adds quite a nice touch to the shelf of Sidman books I’ve been collecting (and oh, it looks like another book, titled Dark Emperor and Other Poems of the Night is coming out just after Labor Day this year….hooray!)</span> <br />
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Thank you, Julie, for once again sharing with us and our readers a deeper look into the world poetic!<br />
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<strong>StorySleuths Tip #83: Don’t think for a moment that non-fiction needs to be dull! Give a topic your own new, fresh take and create something unforgettable.</strong><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Allyson Valentine Schrierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060010674699666764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-81708114844114027202010-07-01T08:13:00.000-07:002011-01-18T13:29:44.311-08:00INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR: One Crazy Summer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_duGrvc5hn6w/TCyudzFgUWI/AAAAAAAAAIs/DHXFNEPS5N0/s1600/rita1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" rw="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_duGrvc5hn6w/TCyudzFgUWI/AAAAAAAAAIs/DHXFNEPS5N0/s200/rita1.jpg" width="131" /></a></div><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The StorySleuths were fortunate to be able to ask a few questions of the amazing Rita Williams-Garcia. Busy with her work as a member of the faculty at the Vermont College of Fine Arts and dashing to and from the ALA conference, Ms. Williams-Garcia took time out of her busy schedule for us, and we thank her. And now, some words from Rita:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">1. We always hear that when writing historical fiction it is challenging to keep from including each and every incredibly cool tidbit gathered during the research phase. Is there one particular piece of information that you really wanted to plug in but just couldn't find the place for?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"></span><br />
<blockquote><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">For sure! Actually, there were many that went into my “Unused” folder. I made a deal with myself, that if I found a place for any one of them, in it would go. The other deal I made was to not fish around in the “unused” folder. I’d have to come upon a place in the writing that begged to have the material woven in. Now, 1968 was a huge year. I kept a diary of one line entries--truth told, too many TV Guide entries--and it was hard to pick, so I remained close to the “Free Huey” movement. I desperately wanted to include Angela Davis and couldn’t do it as naturally as I would have liked to. And there were so many historical events from my childhood. This meant my recollections of Dr. King’s assassination which lead to the Eric Starvo Galt aka James Earl Ray manhunt; hearing Bobby Kennedy’s speech at the Monterey Peninsula Airport and taking a picture with him; more specifics about the Vietnam conflict, and Eartha Kitt being removed as “Catwoman” from the TV show Batman because of her anti-war remarks at a luncheon with Lady Bird Johnson--could not be used in the novel. I could always feel myself reaching to make connections and I’ll tell myself to “stay on story.” It’s part of my work song. </span></blockquote><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">2. Are there any characters that changed significantly since your original concept, and if so, how are they different? Are there characters that started out in the story but got cut?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"></span><br />
<blockquote><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This time around I didn’t have to cut any characters, but their roles did change. The most significant change was Fern. I always intended Fern to be Delphine’s baby. I had an image of her, and her role was to bring out Delphine’s maternal instincts while hampering Delphine’s carefree childhood. I had given her a sweet little soul and Miss Patty Cake. But then, Fern was also the reason or excuse for Cecile’s departure. Her sweetness doesn’t really work on Cecile who won’t leap up to get her a simple glass of ice water. And then I saw and understood why: Like Cecile, Fern insists on herself even at birth. That there is something in Fern that wants to fly off the handle in a rage (although this has to be understood in her fist banging), whereas in Cecile it is overt. I had to make a confrontation between Fern and Cecile. Fern is the undoing of everything. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Sister Mukumbu’s role had changed significantly from the plan. Originally, Sister Mukumbu was to take on more responsibility and nurturing, but that would have been too convenient. As a result there was an opportunity to let Mrs. Woods step out into the story. That worked out well because I intended to have Hirohito’s father, a Vietnam vet turned Black Panther, more visible. Brother Woods’ presence was more logical, historical and I could go to my “Unused” folder for an “in scene” appearance with Brother Woods fixing the Go-Kart. But I saw this Japanese woman sitting with Delphine, Vonetta, Fern and Hirohito. She was naturally maternal, a strong but nurturing mother to Hirohito. She was the antithesis of Cecile, so good-bye Brother Woods. But also, my editor, Rosemary Brosnan’s questions about Delphine and sisters being on their own gave another opportunity to activate Mrs. Woods.</span></blockquote><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">3. What did you start out with? Character? Story idea? The era?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"></span><br />
<blockquote><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Years before I even proposed the story, I knew I would write from my childhood years and that it would be a story not yet written. A few years ago it was time to propose stories for my contract and I already had JUMPED fully formed in my head. As I wrote my email to my editor, I heard, “RUN!” and saw this woman taking off, leaving her small children to struggle to keep up with her. I wrote a basic story idea about this woman who reunited with her children and was involved with the Black Panthers, but was on the run from Maxie, whose printer she had “found.” The names of the characters spilled out onto the screen without even taking a moment. And I knew where there names had come from and why Cecile left them. I heard Delphine say, “When Cecile left, Fern wasn’t on the bottle. When Fern left, Vonetta could walk but wanted to be picked up. When Fern left Pa wasn’t sick, but he wasn‘t doing well, either” (from my notebook). Then I asked, why does she say it this way, in a cadence? The answer: because she grew up hearing cadence. From where? From Cecile. And the images rained! Writing on the wall. Homelessness. The girls’ father, a lonely but loving man. A teen curled up around Milton and Countee Cullen in the stacks of a library. A finger pointing down and a voice yelling, “What is wrong with this picture?” This story was telling itself to me faster than I could write it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">My mind and pre-research frame of references were full: My cousins were involved with the Black Panthers. That my mother smoked and played smoky music. I had free breakfasts in the summer and a Sickle Cell Anemia shot, courtesy of the Black Panthers. Nikki Giovanni printing her own poems on her own printing press. That a Black Panther woman, who was probably just a teen said, “Little Sister, have you had your smile today?” And that nowhere on the news would I see her smile. Or George Jackson’s smile. Or the loving family man in Malcolm X who wasn’t a Black Panther, but whose assassination inspired the movement. I believe it was us, the children, the ones who were served who know what the world doesn’t. I wrote a lot before I could actually get to the business of putting my scenes and dialogue into chapters. I’d dream deeply, ask and answer questions. How is this so, Rita? Explain this to me.</span></blockquote><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">4. Is there a particular element of craft that was particularly challenging for you when writing One Crazy Summer? If so, how did you overcome it?</span><br />
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<blockquote><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I had to stop “telling” the story as much as I loved Delphine’s voice and point of view. I had to remove a good deal of telling by asking myself, “Rita, what happens when this is extricated?” If I didn’t do it, my editor (Rosemary Brosnan at Harpercollins) would strongly suggest it. I also had to give Delphine “the hook” and let her be in the scene and not tell us about it.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></blockquote><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">5. If there is one final edit you could make, what would it be?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It’s a small thing, but every time I come across it, I pause. At the end of “Everyone Knows the King of the Sea,” Delphine says, “I hadn’t cared if I never saw that grinning mammal again.“ This is correct because she is retelling from the past, but every time I read it I lose Delphine. I would revise to the incorrect, “I didn’t care if I never saw that grinning mammal again.” Told you it was small.</span></blockquote></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Ms. Williams-Garcia -- the StorySleuths thank you for sharing!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">StorySleuths Tip #82: When writing historical fiction allow your reasearch to give the story flavor and texture, only including those actual facts that fit the story, rather than changing the story to fit the facts. From RWG's response above--wait for a place in the story that begs to have the material woven in.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.storysleuths.com/2010/07/guest-post-by-monica-edinger-one-crazy.html">Post #7: Guest Posting by Monica Edinger --Attending to Your Audience</a></span><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Allyson Valentine Schrierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060010674699666764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5891516019371645116.post-78559293131915512062010-06-26T22:22:00.001-07:002010-06-27T22:27:47.317-07:00CLIMAX AND DENOUEMENT: One Crazy Summer (Post #6 of 6)<meta content="" name="Title"></meta><meta content="" name="Keywords"></meta></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 2008" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 2008" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file://localhost/Users/robertkaplan/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/msoclip/0clip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">Dear Allyson and Heather,</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_duGrvc5hn6w/TCgyc-eUmaI/AAAAAAAAAIk/aHlbgGDFL1g/s1600/one_crazy_summer+smaller.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" ru="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_duGrvc5hn6w/TCgyc-eUmaI/AAAAAAAAAIk/aHlbgGDFL1g/s320/one_crazy_summer+smaller.jpg" /></a></div> I’ve been thinking about your post, Heather, and about how Williams-Garcia created an antagonist who AVOIDS taking action. Her decision to pit Delphine against such a resistant mother created a challenge with respect to the ending. How could the story come to a climax in which there would be some resolution of the tension between Delphine and Cecile, while still remaining true to the characters? A sugary sweet ending wouldn’t fit, but to have no mutual understanding wouldn’t satisfy readers either. </div><div class="MsoNormal"> In <b><i>Beginnings,, Middles & Ends</i></b>, Nancy Kress says, </div><br />
<blockquote><div class="MsoNormal">…the climactic scene must grow naturally out of the actions that preceded it, which in turn must have grown naturally out of the personalities of the characters.” (p. 108)</div></blockquote><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"> In the penultimate chapter of <b><i>One Crazy Summer</i></b>, “Be Eleven,” the protagonist and the antagonist confront one another. It’s a confrontation we’ve been prepared for, and expecting, and waiting for, since the first chapter, when Delphine and her sisters set off on the quest to visit the mother who had left them behind six years earlier, leaving Delphine with only a “flash of memory” that told her “Cecile wasn’t one for kissing and hugging” (p. 7). With Delphine, we wonder, “Why? </div><div class="MsoNormal"> And finally, in “Be Eleven,” Cecile explains. Cecile initiates the scene with a tirade directed at Delphine, blaming Delphine for not calling her father when Cecile was in jail, Delphine responds: </div><br />
<blockquote><div class="MsoNormal">I’m only eleven years old. And I do everything. I have to, because <i>you’re</i> not there to do it. I’m only eleven years old, but I do the best I can. I don’t just <i>up and</i> <i>leave</i>. (p. 206) </div></blockquote><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"> In response, Cecile opens up, sharing her own life story with Delphine. Delphine reflects: </div><br />
<blockquote><div class="MsoNormal">Here was my mother telling me her life. Who she was. How she came to be Cecile. Answering questions I’d stored in my head from the time I realized she would not come back. (p. 209) </div></blockquote><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"> Delphine’s self-awareness grows out of these revelations: “….for what seemed like the first time ever, all I could think about was my own self. What I lost. What I missed" (p. 209). The information doesn’t change Delphine’s feelings—“I was still mad”—but it does give her information that she planned to take out “one piece at a time and look at” (p. 210), and it gives her Cecile’s understanding: “Be eleven, Delphine. Be eleven while you can” (p. 210)</div><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"> About the dénouement, whose function is to “wrap up the story” after the climax, Kress says, </div><br />
<blockquote><div class="MsoNormal">it may consist of a sentence, a paragraph, or a brief scene clarifying what happens to the character after she changes. (p. 112) </div></blockquote><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">Williams-Garcia has created the perfect dénouement. After they’ve said their goodbyes at the airport, Delphine expects Cecile to walk away. But in line for boarding, Delphine reports: </div><br />
<blockquote><div class="MsoNormal">When I turned to see if she had gone, she was standing only a few feet away. Looking straight at me. It was a strange, wonderful feeling. To discover eyes upon you when you expected no one to notice you at all. (p. 214) </div></blockquote><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">And finally, there’s the moment we’ve been prepared for, and waiting for, from the first chapter: </div><br />
<blockquote><div class="MsoNormal">We broke off from the line and ran over to hug our mother and let her hug us…..We weren’t about to leave Oakland without getting what we’d come for. (p. 215)</div></blockquote><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"> It’s a perfect ending—one that follows from all of the actions that preceded it and grows naturally out of the personalities of the characters.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>StorySleuths Tip #81: Create a climax and dénouement that meet the standards of Nancy Kress--that logically follow the actions preceding it while growing naturally out of the personalities of the characters. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="blogger-post-footer">(c) 2009-2010 StorySleuths</div>Meg Lipperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14108563731849800922noreply@blogger.com